For context, I’m circumcised and expecting a son and my wife and I are torn about the circ. We’re American so from a cultural standpoint circumcision is the default choice. Thing is, there’s no real benefit besides practicing a religion we don’t believe in, and I’m uncomfortable about cutting the tip of my son’s dick off.

On the other side, I’ve met a guy who was bullied in high school so bad for it he got a circ as an adult. Apparently crazy painful recovery. I’ve also talked to women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men. I don’t want to make him feel like something’s wrong with him his whole life because I was uncomfortable with the idea.

From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it? It’s a crappy situation. If there’s any uncircumcised American men who want to talk about their penis I’m all ears.

Edit: I really appreciate everyone’s responses I never expected to hear from so many people. With the decision hinging on social and cultural norms it’s been really helpful to be able to take the temperature like this. I obviously need to talk to my wife, but given the overwhelming support of dick hats I don’t thing we’re going to do it. Thanks, lemmings!

  • Aggravationstation@feddit.uk
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    18 minutes ago

    British penis owner here. Cirumcision is rare in this country and as far as I know the rest of the world. I imagine most British people would find it strange, the inverse of your friend’s experience. My instinct is to say don’t perform an unnecessary medical procedure on your child and let them decide as an adult. You can’t put a foreskin back on. But I sympathise with the cultural aspect of it you’re having to contend with in the USA.

    Side note: I considered getting circumcised. I was in a BDSM relationship. My penis was consensually “her” penis and she liked it after being with a Jewish guy. If it had become a long term relationship I might have done it.

  • whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    20 minutes ago

    I’m not a parent but I think in general unnecessary cosmetic surgery should be left up to the individual especially when it is related to genitals. I understand wanting to help them conform to norms to try to give them an easier life and there are some surgeries I think make sense like a cleft palate or an infant with burns, but if it’s not necessary you’re taking away their bodily autonomy and I think that’s a very important line morally. You need to determine if you think it’s necessary or unnecessary, and if the discomfort of a possible later in life surgery pushed it past the moral boundary or not.

  • D_C@sh.itjust.works
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    23 minutes ago

    Uncircumcised and never really thought about getting it done.

    Also I will say that I met this girl about 30 years ago that did this thing with her tongue that made me reaaallllly happy to have my foreskin. I’ve since shown this ‘action’ to every partner I’ve had 😁.

  • pulsewidth@lemmy.world
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    1 hour ago

    The idea that you would cut off a part of your kids genitalia just so they could ‘fit in’ culturally is kinda blown away by the fact that it is now less common to be circumcised than being natural, even in the USA. By the time your kid is old enough to care, it will be a complete non-issue, and they can always get one as an adult if they want. Don’t take that agency away.

    https://www.medpagetoday.com/pediatrics/generalpediatrics/117464

    The idea that it has a population-level health benefit is completely debunked. It is medically advisable in only a tiny fraction of kids (sub 1%). The fact that %60 of the US population is circumcised is all thanks to religious hooey from puritans who don’t want children to masturbate, and think chopping a sensitive part of their genitals off to make it harder to enjoy is the best way to go - thanks to education and a wider exposure to the rest of the world via the Internet, US parents are finally realising this which is why it’s in decline.

  • MehBlah@lemmy.world
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    4 minutes ago

    Spurious question guy. Have you ever wished the grass was greener on the other side? Its why the chicken crossed the road ya know.

  • favoredponcho@lemmy.zip
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    2 minutes ago

    Consider that your kid may grow to resent you for the decision to circumcise him. However, if you don’t, and he later decides to get circumcised, it would be his decision. If you circumcise him, it can’t be undone, but he will always have the choice in the future.

  • 5too@lemmy.world
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    1 minute ago

    Adding my No to the pile, but also, heads up - we’re in the Midwest, kept out sons intact, but we had to say no something like six times for each of them. If you decide you don’t want them cut (which is my advice), make sure you’re both holding firm on that!

  • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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    1 hour ago

    Just don’t circumcize your kid. I am and didn’t do it for my kid, and even if he has issues, it’s his choice to make the body mod if it’s wanted. Kids will always have some kind of issue or get made fun of for something, no reason to snip the tip of his penis off unless it’s needed imo.

  • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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    1 hour ago

    Uncircumcised and have my tonsils. My mother was adamant about having every piece of her children coming home with her. I was on the swim team in high school, and no one teased me about my dick. Plenty of other things, but not that.

  • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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    51 minutes ago

    my uncle did this to my cousin. He quote " I did it so he doesnt hurt self" to which my father agreed. I dont quite understand wtf they are doing to themselves that circumcision was the solution. He Also said the doctor tried to convince him otherwise.

    Also a dick is dick. Once the skin pulls back during sex I doubt anyone really notices.

  • dil@lemmy.zip
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    49 minutes ago

    If you’re going off shameless, that wass 100% written by a straight circumcised from birth male, whole arc was odd af, kinda funny tho