They seem so good in the movies, but actually taste mostly just like straight vodka, which most people aren’t going to enjoy.
Let’s start with Vodka. What a fucking waste. Vodka, at it’s best, is supposed to be flavourless. So you’re already off to a terrible start. If you’re asking for a Vodka Martini you’re asking for Strong Vermouth.
So let’s get that out of the way. You need the standard gin. Gin is delicious. There are many different Gins to choose from. Gin has actual flavor. I like Hendricks, but try and figure out which Gun you like best. Beefeater is great for a gin & tonic, might not work as well in a Martini. Try a few different options.
Now we’ve got Gin and vermouth. Those two work together beautifully.
Now I like a good olive. I say make that fucker dirty. Extra dirty. OLIVE ME THE FUCK UP! That’s what I want. You want it straight up? Fine. I think it’s packing but it’s the traditional way and I won’t complain. You want a cocktail onion? That’s called a Gibson and I ain’t complaining.
But GIN THAT FUCKER UP. Fuck off with your weak ass Vodka Martini. I don’t care if it’s Grey Goose or some other “fancy” shit. That ain’t no Martini.
And make sure to use enough vermouth! None of this “wave the vermouth bottle near the shaker” nonsense. A martini should be about 1/4 vermouth as a starting point.
Good gin is genuinely awesome and I generally don’t like alcohol. Have you tried aged stuff like Slo Gin? It’s quite a different treat
…try and figure out which Gun you like best.
A warm one, they’re happiness so I’m told.
Bang bang, shoot shoot.
I remember hearing a theory that he deliberately orders a mostly flavourless cocktail with very basic and common ingredients because it would make it easier to detect if someone had spiked his drink with something.
Standard, off the shelf ingredients means you can’t just spike the whole bottle ahead of time as each ingredient is pretty standard.
James Bond was an alcoholic, with good reason. He didn’t drink vodka martinis for the taste, he drank them to dull the pain and horrors of his job. As much as he drank, he probably didn’t really taste the booze anymore.
The original James Bond from the novels was a dark and brooding high-functioning alcoholic, who operated at his best with a drink or two in him at all times. He was pretty useless without the drink. A vodka martini would quickly get him in the right headspace to accomplish his latest mission.
The movie Bond was reinvented to be this dashing, handsome womanizer who drank and smoked socially and was charming as hell. Basically, a 1950s ideal male fantasy. This Bond probably could’ve used a classier drink than straight vodka, but that’s one aspect of the books they kept pretty loyal.
He was on alcohol and Benzedrine (amphetamines):
I haven’t read the books. Is there any background for choosing vodka martinis in particular? As opposed to, say plain vodka. Was it just a more socially acceptable dose of alcohol?
2 oz vodka because much of the time, he was a spy with Russian adversaries and he wanted to blend in, also note that he doesn’t specify which vodka because he actually doesn’t care. 1 oz Gordon’s because beneath all that he’s a true red blooded Brit and he’ll always proudly drink British gin. Lilet Blanc because it’s not his money and he’s surrounded by wealthy people so he might as well buy the most expensive vermouth in the world. Shaken not stirred because he wants the drink to be cold, causing him to drink more slowly, and because it will water it down, meaning he will appear to be drinking more than he actually is and people will underestimate him. I can’t figure out any obvious subtext for the lemon twist, but it is a very classy way to have a martini. Call it a Vesper to memorialize his first love, and emphasize that he doesn’t and can’t have a life outside of being a spy, he’s condemned to this world.
The Vesper is the best fusion of lore and a cocktail you could ever conceive and will never be topped.
The Vesper is James Bond’s personal invention, from the very first novel, Casino Royale. It’s basically his own custom twist on the vodka martini.
He explains he only has one drink before dinner, but he prefers it’s a large one, ice cold, and made very well. He drinks plenty of other types of alcohol throughout the books, but he’s pretty particular about this one evening aperitif.
The movies kind of latched onto it and just made him drink vodka martinis in general. Although the 2006 film Casino Royale had him order his custom invention from a bar, almost word-for-word from the original novel. It’s named after Vesper Lynd, the first girl Bond truly fell for in the novels.
i think one of the reason they simplified it is that the vesper martini can’t be made anymore
Why?
one of the ingredients, kina lillet, stopped being produced 40 years ago
Although apparently Cocchi Americano is very close, and therefore a good choice versus the more common substitution of Lillet Blanc
I’ve yet to personally get my hands on a bottle though
Oh neat my Total Wine and More has this. I’ll have to get some next time I go.
That’s because they’re watered down weak martinis. The whole reason you don’t shake a martini and you should stir it is because when you shake it it chips the ice and makes it melt faster. By shaking it he’s making it weaker.
It “bruises” the gin as well.
This isn’t a real thing.
It is, but it’s more that forceful oxygenation impairs the perception of certain olfactory compounds changing your impression of the drink. Saying it “bruises” the gun is just easier
Aeration is a known factor in cocktails, it also requires some kind of protein or structure in the liquid to hold onto air for more than a few moments. Slurping a bit as you sip will impact the taste more than shake/stir (assuming equal dilution, temperature, and clarity) The other factor bruise-truthers trot out is Volatile Organic Compounds and the “top notes” evaporating out or oxidizing and I’m sure that would happen if you left a neat glass out on the counter for half an hour, but ten seconds of tumbling is nothing compared to the distillation and bottling process.
It’s like the “espresso dies in thirty seconds” thing that’s actually an efficiency training benchmark that got misinterpreted at some point. The chemistry just isn’t that fast.
Aeration is a known factor in cocktails, it also requires some kind of protein or structure in the liquid to hold onto air for more than a few moments.
Which is all you need to change some components like those found in fresh citrus oils.
Slurping a bit as you sip will impact the taste more than shake/stir (assuming equal dilution, temperature, and clarity)
Shake is almost certainly creating more dilution though. You can’t handwave that away though it is unrelated to “bruising”
The other factor bruise-truthers trot out is Volatile Organic Compounds and the “top notes” evaporating out or oxidizing and I’m sure that would happen if you left a neat glass out on the counter for half an hour,
Im fairly positive that is why we can smell things and I believe your assertion that leaving a glass of gin out for 30 minutes with a much greater exposed surface area will lose taste faster than innthe bottle
Not when its vodka…
False, the gins ego is bruised that someone would order an inferior vodka martini.
False! Gin is not angry, just disappointed that someone would order an inferior vodka martini.
(Though he’s probably responsible for an equal amount of wasted bourbon and whiskey)
Whisky is good, but definitely an acquired taste
I’m a whiskey drinker, and this is…accurate.
Bourbons are often described as having notes of cherry or apple, vanilla and shortbread, like the baking soda tang from shortbread. That sounds nice, like a pie.
Or they’ll hand you an Irish whiskey with herbal or floral notes. It’s pretty.
Then they’ll hand you a Scotch and say “This one’s really great, it tastes like peat moss, smoke, iodine and leather” and you hesitantly ask if they’d like to go to the hospital.
Definately a wide variety with scotch, tastes and smells with anything from cigar ashtrays, fresh mowed lawn, salty toffee, woody, honey, apples & pears.
Personally i love a sherry cask speyside. Something non-smokey with nice sweeter fruity notes, something to sip with a subtle warmth as it goes down the throat that makes you feel like you have just walked in from a cold evening and taken your coat off to sit in a nice comfy chair by the fire.
I’ve found I prefer Irish whiskies or American bourbons to scotch. And you know what I say to folks who like different drinks than me? Cheers!
Gimme a nice peaty Laphroaig. Something that tastes like a tire fire on a football pitch
Islay malts always taste like somebody put a cig out in them. Ew.
Balvenie 14 year for me, thank you very much!
I’ve had one of those little sample bottles of Johnny Walker Blue. Tasted like 3 feet upwind of a campfire. Flavor profile: combustion.
Hahaha that’s great and thank you because I’m stealing it. 😁
It’s creative commons share alike. No need for attribution.
To me it tastes more like dry-rotting lawn clippings.
But in a good way.
If I’m ever in Scotland I might just take a bite out of the ground to see if I like it
Yeah. Acquired from the bartender.
Not all of it lol.
I read that while the martini was his signature drink, he actually is depicted drinking champagne more frequently in the films. So just drink champagne!
Avoid brut though if you want to enjoy it
As someone with thirty years at some of the top retailers in the wine business I will eternally disagree with this take. Most great champagnes are brut.
I prefer mine a bit sweeter. I also prefer a coupe so I guess my champagne tastes are just two hundred years old.
Your preference for the demisec is almost certainly related to your cup preference. I did a tasting if box wines 20 years ago. what we realized was the winner was always what was in the Bordeaux glass vs the burgundy because it concentrated the scents more.
The non-brut (I don’t know the English term) is alcoholic soda, that’s less enjoyable
Vodka doesn’t have much flavor, but the Vermouth adds a nice touch. Most Vermouth is crap, though and has a sharp edge. The Dolin Dry is more floral: https://www.bittersandbottles.com/products/dolin-vermouth-dry
As for shaking, it’s a matter of taste. Vigorous shaking in a covered shaker with crushed ice breaks small shards into tiny crystals. These quickly melt, though, so it’s really the very first taste where it’s a bit tingly.
Toss in 3 large green olives with garlic or pimento and it’s a pretty decent, hard to mess up drink that anyone can make at home.
And brut is a nice champagne.
brut is a designation of residual sugars in solution it is not a brand.
Yes, and?
Your post makes no sense
Dry champagne is a nice champagne.
Hope that helps.
Yeah they’re vodka martinis. They ARE terrible lol. Gin is much better, more interesting with the botanicals. I usually do Beefeater gin if they have it
If I’m not doing a small distillery gin I usually do Hendrick’s.
Satan’s Maggoty Cum Fart has this right. A gin martini, specifically Hendricks has it right. Dirty is ideal.
Gosh I tried Hendrick’s for the first time last year. Polished off the bottle in two weeks, that’s stuff is lovely in a G&T
Bonds Wodka Martini does have 3/4 of gin and only 1/4 of wodka:
The International Bartenders Association (IBA) recipe calls for 45 ml gin, 15 ml vodka, and 7.5 ml Lillet Blanc in place of Kina Lillet
I do like a gin martini, but as a tequila drinker, nothing beats a dirty Tequila Martini.
Martinis do not involve tequila. That would be a different drink. When you change the single largest ingredient by volume you have a new drink
Gin Martini
Vodka Martini
Martinis is plural. You can make Martinis with any clear spirit. Whether or not you make it again is a different story.
If I make a Manhattan with Scotch did I make a Manhattan or did I make a different drink?
You’d have a Scotch Manhattan.
If you make a margarita with scotch, you’d have a scotch margarita.
We’re not mixologists designing new drinks.
I’ve made tequila with clamato juice, did I make a Tequila Cesar, or is it a different drink??
No if you combine bitters, Scotch, and vermouth you have a Rob Roy because changing the primary component makes a new drink.
God that sounds disgusting. I think, for the first time in 4+ years of sobriety, I actually feel genuinely sad for not being able to try that one out. It sounds so awful it must be good.
Hey, stay strong brother. That one drink isn’t worth giving up your progress. I don’t know you, but I’m proud for you.
I like tequila with a pickleback, which is the way less classy version of this.
So, I would love to know your recipe. Because that’s where I’d guess you fucked it up.
I would guess you used vodka and used either too much vermouth or too little. (I’d guess you used too little rather than too much…) But what do I know?
You used dry vermouth, not sweet?
Who uses sweet vermouth in a martini? That’s a different drink.
Martinis are gin or vodka and extra dry vermouth.
That is absolutely correct.
I was asking the op if he used sweet vermouth to determine if op used sweet vermouth. Because that would be a Manhattan. Sorta.
Some very early martini recipes call for equal parts gin and sweet vermouth. There’s been a century-long trend toward dryer and dryer martinis until we arrive at the modern recipe:
fill a tumbler full of ice, add three ounces of gin, pour half an ounce of dry vermouth down the sink next door, stir, strain into a cocktail glass, garnish with a green olive.
I like them. I make sure to request “extra dirty” so I get a good olive flavor
“Extra dirty please!”
bartender mixes the drink with his penis
o heyo yee now we talkin
Can’t tell if Charley Kelly, or the lucky charms leprechan.
I was going for something completely separate, but I like where your mind is at.
Wet martinis have extra vermouth, so my favorite spin on the classic is a “wet and dirty” martini. Extra olives of course
Agree! I usually ask for them “filthy” bc olive with a hint of vermouth is exactly what I like about them. Those and bloody marys are the only savory cocktails I’ve enjoyed.
As a vodka enjoyer, I do love me a good Vodka Martini. But that shaken thing Bond has going on is pure blasphemy.
It’s worth remembering that the taste doesn’t just come from the vodka so the vermouth is equally important.
I read a theory that the shaken thing is to deliberately dilute the drink. Shaking melts more ice, which waters down the drink a bit, in order to stay relatively level-headed for any high stakes spying you might have to do later.
That’s a common myth; what it actually does is water it up. There’s still 2 or 3 ounces of 80 proof booze in the glass, but now it has a few more drops of water in it.
At one point in Casino Royale, Bond says he likes his drinks “very cold” which is probably the realistic reason for shaking. You can get a drink a lot colder a lot faster by shaking than by stirring.
There’s also…Ian Fleming wrote Bond to have a lot of cool and sophisticated opinions like that, at the time it sounded cool to have a custom bar order, whatever it was. Nowadays if you walk into a bar and start issuing a list of instructions to the bartender you look like a prick. If you’re in an actual bespoke cocktail bar they probably have a style they’re going for, or sir, this is an Applebee’s.
Yeah I’m sure there is an audience out there. But you guys probably get your inspiration from somewhere other than films, and don’t leave your glasses half full.
Keep at it 👍🏻
Yeah, they are awful. My mate bought all the ingredients and a fancy martini glass, had half of one, and gave up.
Never try boxed wine.
When I was 21, my job had someone lose an entire massive jug of wine in a box. It sat in lost and found for a month before I just took it.
Second worst thing that has ever been in my mouth. I invited people over to try it. If they liked it, they could have it. I figured “I’m not a wine guy, but it’s free booze.”
I couldn’t take more than a sip. Nobody could.
We had to throw the damn thing away.
If not for boxed wine, how am I supposed to be the host for “Slap the Bag” at music festivals?!
I can’t stand wine (it’s all vinegar to me, regardless of the price tag), but I know some connoisseurs who say there are plenty of good boxed wines. I don’t think the container signifies the quality. My wife says one of the best wines she ever had was a 6 euro bottle of french table wine, better than a 150 euro bottle I got for her birthday.
It’s funny because I’ve seen people say before that wine is completely subjective. The price has no bearing on flavor. If you like it you like it.
You’re not wrong!
I’m a fan of the martini - when I’m in the mood to drink. But make it gin, a good one like Boodles or some of the new stuff with citrus notes.
Another good shower thought today!
I noticed in my younger years that despite vodka’s fairly neutral quality, I find that it can cause the worst halitosis after a heavy session of imbibing. Brushing and mouthwash doesn’t make it go away. I’ve not experienced this with other distilled spirits. It’s epecially nasty kissing someone who was drinking lots of it the night before.
That’s why you gotta order them wet so there’s more.vermouth in there. I prefer them dirty as well (splash of olive brine)
The price of liquor!