They seem so good in the movies, but actually taste mostly just like straight vodka, which most people aren’t going to enjoy.

  • MimicJar@lemmy.world
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    16 hours ago

    Let’s start with Vodka. What a fucking waste. Vodka, at it’s best, is supposed to be flavourless. So you’re already off to a terrible start. If you’re asking for a Vodka Martini you’re asking for Strong Vermouth.

    So let’s get that out of the way. You need the standard gin. Gin is delicious. There are many different Gins to choose from. Gin has actual flavor. I like Hendricks, but try and figure out which Gun you like best. Beefeater is great for a gin & tonic, might not work as well in a Martini. Try a few different options.

    Now we’ve got Gin and vermouth. Those two work together beautifully.

    Now I like a good olive. I say make that fucker dirty. Extra dirty. OLIVE ME THE FUCK UP! That’s what I want. You want it straight up? Fine. I think it’s packing but it’s the traditional way and I won’t complain. You want a cocktail onion? That’s called a Gibson and I ain’t complaining.

    But GIN THAT FUCKER UP. Fuck off with your weak ass Vodka Martini. I don’t care if it’s Grey Goose or some other “fancy” shit. That ain’t no Martini.

    • AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org
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      7 hours ago

      And make sure to use enough vermouth! None of this “wave the vermouth bottle near the shaker” nonsense. A martini should be about 1/4 vermouth as a starting point.

    • Dr. Moose@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      Good gin is genuinely awesome and I generally don’t like alcohol. Have you tried aged stuff like Slo Gin? It’s quite a different treat

    • DrownedRats@lemmy.world
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      16 hours ago

      I remember hearing a theory that he deliberately orders a mostly flavourless cocktail with very basic and common ingredients because it would make it easier to detect if someone had spiked his drink with something.

      Standard, off the shelf ingredients means you can’t just spike the whole bottle ahead of time as each ingredient is pretty standard.

  • cobysev@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    James Bond was an alcoholic, with good reason. He didn’t drink vodka martinis for the taste, he drank them to dull the pain and horrors of his job. As much as he drank, he probably didn’t really taste the booze anymore.

    The original James Bond from the novels was a dark and brooding high-functioning alcoholic, who operated at his best with a drink or two in him at all times. He was pretty useless without the drink. A vodka martini would quickly get him in the right headspace to accomplish his latest mission.

    The movie Bond was reinvented to be this dashing, handsome womanizer who drank and smoked socially and was charming as hell. Basically, a 1950s ideal male fantasy. This Bond probably could’ve used a classier drink than straight vodka, but that’s one aspect of the books they kept pretty loyal.

    • Tiuku@sopuli.xyzOP
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      1 day ago

      I haven’t read the books. Is there any background for choosing vodka martinis in particular? As opposed to, say plain vodka. Was it just a more socially acceptable dose of alcohol?

      • Artyom@lemm.ee
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        20 hours ago

        2 oz vodka because much of the time, he was a spy with Russian adversaries and he wanted to blend in, also note that he doesn’t specify which vodka because he actually doesn’t care. 1 oz Gordon’s because beneath all that he’s a true red blooded Brit and he’ll always proudly drink British gin. Lilet Blanc because it’s not his money and he’s surrounded by wealthy people so he might as well buy the most expensive vermouth in the world. Shaken not stirred because he wants the drink to be cold, causing him to drink more slowly, and because it will water it down, meaning he will appear to be drinking more than he actually is and people will underestimate him. I can’t figure out any obvious subtext for the lemon twist, but it is a very classy way to have a martini. Call it a Vesper to memorialize his first love, and emphasize that he doesn’t and can’t have a life outside of being a spy, he’s condemned to this world.

        The Vesper is the best fusion of lore and a cocktail you could ever conceive and will never be topped.

      • cobysev@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        The Vesper is James Bond’s personal invention, from the very first novel, Casino Royale. It’s basically his own custom twist on the vodka martini.

        He explains he only has one drink before dinner, but he prefers it’s a large one, ice cold, and made very well. He drinks plenty of other types of alcohol throughout the books, but he’s pretty particular about this one evening aperitif.

        The movies kind of latched onto it and just made him drink vodka martinis in general. Although the 2006 film Casino Royale had him order his custom invention from a bar, almost word-for-word from the original novel. It’s named after Vesper Lynd, the first girl Bond truly fell for in the novels.

        • lime!@feddit.nu
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          23 hours ago

          i think one of the reason they simplified it is that the vesper martini can’t be made anymore

            • lime!@feddit.nu
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              16 hours ago

              one of the ingredients, kina lillet, stopped being produced 40 years ago

              • 9point6@lemmy.world
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                14 hours ago

                Although apparently Cocchi Americano is very close, and therefore a good choice versus the more common substitution of Lillet Blanc

                I’ve yet to personally get my hands on a bottle though

  • njm1314@lemmy.world
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    20 hours ago

    That’s because they’re watered down weak martinis. The whole reason you don’t shake a martini and you should stir it is because when you shake it it chips the ice and makes it melt faster. By shaking it he’s making it weaker.

        • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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          6 hours ago

          It is, but it’s more that forceful oxygenation impairs the perception of certain olfactory compounds changing your impression of the drink. Saying it “bruises” the gun is just easier

          • Soggy@lemmy.world
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            5 hours ago

            Aeration is a known factor in cocktails, it also requires some kind of protein or structure in the liquid to hold onto air for more than a few moments. Slurping a bit as you sip will impact the taste more than shake/stir (assuming equal dilution, temperature, and clarity) The other factor bruise-truthers trot out is Volatile Organic Compounds and the “top notes” evaporating out or oxidizing and I’m sure that would happen if you left a neat glass out on the counter for half an hour, but ten seconds of tumbling is nothing compared to the distillation and bottling process.

            It’s like the “espresso dies in thirty seconds” thing that’s actually an efficiency training benchmark that got misinterpreted at some point. The chemistry just isn’t that fast.

            • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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              5 hours ago

              Aeration is a known factor in cocktails, it also requires some kind of protein or structure in the liquid to hold onto air for more than a few moments.

              Which is all you need to change some components like those found in fresh citrus oils.

              Slurping a bit as you sip will impact the taste more than shake/stir (assuming equal dilution, temperature, and clarity)

              Shake is almost certainly creating more dilution though. You can’t handwave that away though it is unrelated to “bruising”

              The other factor bruise-truthers trot out is Volatile Organic Compounds and the “top notes” evaporating out or oxidizing and I’m sure that would happen if you left a neat glass out on the counter for half an hour,

              Im fairly positive that is why we can smell things and I believe your assertion that leaving a glass of gin out for 30 minutes with a much greater exposed surface area will lose taste faster than innthe bottle

          • Baaahb@feddit.nl
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            7 hours ago

            False! Gin is not angry, just disappointed that someone would order an inferior vodka martini.

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        9 hours ago

        I’m a whiskey drinker, and this is…accurate.

        Bourbons are often described as having notes of cherry or apple, vanilla and shortbread, like the baking soda tang from shortbread. That sounds nice, like a pie.

        Or they’ll hand you an Irish whiskey with herbal or floral notes. It’s pretty.

        Then they’ll hand you a Scotch and say “This one’s really great, it tastes like peat moss, smoke, iodine and leather” and you hesitantly ask if they’d like to go to the hospital.

        • JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world
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          7 hours ago

          Definately a wide variety with scotch, tastes and smells with anything from cigar ashtrays, fresh mowed lawn, salty toffee, woody, honey, apples & pears.

          Personally i love a sherry cask speyside. Something non-smokey with nice sweeter fruity notes, something to sip with a subtle warmth as it goes down the throat that makes you feel like you have just walked in from a cold evening and taken your coat off to sit in a nice comfy chair by the fire.

          • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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            7 hours ago

            I’ve found I prefer Irish whiskies or American bourbons to scotch. And you know what I say to folks who like different drinks than me? Cheers!

  • felixwhynot@lemmy.world
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    22 hours ago

    I read that while the martini was his signature drink, he actually is depicted drinking champagne more frequently in the films. So just drink champagne!

      • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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        10 hours ago

        As someone with thirty years at some of the top retailers in the wine business I will eternally disagree with this take. Most great champagnes are brut.

        • Soggy@lemmy.world
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          7 hours ago

          I prefer mine a bit sweeter. I also prefer a coupe so I guess my champagne tastes are just two hundred years old.

          • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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            6 hours ago

            Your preference for the demisec is almost certainly related to your cup preference. I did a tasting if box wines 20 years ago. what we realized was the winner was always what was in the Bordeaux glass vs the burgundy because it concentrated the scents more.

  • fubarx@lemmy.world
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    23 hours ago

    Vodka doesn’t have much flavor, but the Vermouth adds a nice touch. Most Vermouth is crap, though and has a sharp edge. The Dolin Dry is more floral: https://www.bittersandbottles.com/products/dolin-vermouth-dry

    As for shaking, it’s a matter of taste. Vigorous shaking in a covered shaker with crushed ice breaks small shards into tiny crystals. These quickly melt, though, so it’s really the very first taste where it’s a bit tingly.

    Toss in 3 large green olives with garlic or pimento and it’s a pretty decent, hard to mess up drink that anyone can make at home.

  • MelonYellow@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    Yeah they’re vodka martinis. They ARE terrible lol. Gin is much better, more interesting with the botanicals. I usually do Beefeater gin if they have it

      • MimicJar@lemmy.world
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        16 hours ago

        Satan’s Maggoty Cum Fart has this right. A gin martini, specifically Hendricks has it right. Dirty is ideal.

    • Akasazh@feddit.nl
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      24 hours ago

      Bonds Wodka Martini does have 3/4 of gin and only 1/4 of wodka:

      The International Bartenders Association (IBA) recipe calls for 45 ml gin, 15 ml vodka, and 7.5 ml Lillet Blanc in place of Kina Lillet

      • RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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        10 hours ago

        Martinis do not involve tequila. That would be a different drink. When you change the single largest ingredient by volume you have a new drink

        • Trex202@lemmy.world
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          9 hours ago

          Gin Martini

          Vodka Martini

          Martinis is plural. You can make Martinis with any clear spirit. Whether or not you make it again is a different story.

            • Trex202@lemmy.world
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              4 hours ago

              You’d have a Scotch Manhattan.

              If you make a margarita with scotch, you’d have a scotch margarita.

              We’re not mixologists designing new drinks.

              I’ve made tequila with clamato juice, did I make a Tequila Cesar, or is it a different drink??

      • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
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        1 day ago

        God that sounds disgusting. I think, for the first time in 4+ years of sobriety, I actually feel genuinely sad for not being able to try that one out. It sounds so awful it must be good.

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Hey, stay strong brother. That one drink isn’t worth giving up your progress. I don’t know you, but I’m proud for you.

  • Devdoggy@lemm.ee
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    19 hours ago

    So, I would love to know your recipe. Because that’s where I’d guess you fucked it up.

    I would guess you used vodka and used either too much vermouth or too little. (I’d guess you used too little rather than too much…) But what do I know?

    You used dry vermouth, not sweet?

      • Devdoggy@lemm.ee
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        10 hours ago

        That is absolutely correct.

        I was asking the op if he used sweet vermouth to determine if op used sweet vermouth. Because that would be a Manhattan. Sorta.

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        10 hours ago

        Some very early martini recipes call for equal parts gin and sweet vermouth. There’s been a century-long trend toward dryer and dryer martinis until we arrive at the modern recipe:

        fill a tumbler full of ice, add three ounces of gin, pour half an ounce of dry vermouth down the sink next door, stir, strain into a cocktail glass, garnish with a green olive.

  • hmonkey@lemy.lol
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    1 day ago

    I like them. I make sure to request “extra dirty” so I get a good olive flavor

  • VonReposti@feddit.dk
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    1 day ago

    As a vodka enjoyer, I do love me a good Vodka Martini. But that shaken thing Bond has going on is pure blasphemy.

    It’s worth remembering that the taste doesn’t just come from the vodka so the vermouth is equally important.

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works
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      20 hours ago

      I read a theory that the shaken thing is to deliberately dilute the drink. Shaking melts more ice, which waters down the drink a bit, in order to stay relatively level-headed for any high stakes spying you might have to do later.

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        9 hours ago

        That’s a common myth; what it actually does is water it up. There’s still 2 or 3 ounces of 80 proof booze in the glass, but now it has a few more drops of water in it.

        At one point in Casino Royale, Bond says he likes his drinks “very cold” which is probably the realistic reason for shaking. You can get a drink a lot colder a lot faster by shaking than by stirring.

        There’s also…Ian Fleming wrote Bond to have a lot of cool and sophisticated opinions like that, at the time it sounded cool to have a custom bar order, whatever it was. Nowadays if you walk into a bar and start issuing a list of instructions to the bartender you look like a prick. If you’re in an actual bespoke cocktail bar they probably have a style they’re going for, or sir, this is an Applebee’s.

    • Tiuku@sopuli.xyzOP
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      1 day ago

      Yeah I’m sure there is an audience out there. But you guys probably get your inspiration from somewhere other than films, and don’t leave your glasses half full.

      Keep at it 👍🏻

  • Diddlydee@feddit.uk
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    1 day ago

    Yeah, they are awful. My mate bought all the ingredients and a fancy martini glass, had half of one, and gave up.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Never try boxed wine.

      When I was 21, my job had someone lose an entire massive jug of wine in a box. It sat in lost and found for a month before I just took it.

      Second worst thing that has ever been in my mouth. I invited people over to try it. If they liked it, they could have it. I figured “I’m not a wine guy, but it’s free booze.”

      I couldn’t take more than a sip. Nobody could.

      We had to throw the damn thing away.

      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        21 hours ago

        If not for boxed wine, how am I supposed to be the host for “Slap the Bag” at music festivals?!

      • Diddlydee@feddit.uk
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        24 hours ago

        I can’t stand wine (it’s all vinegar to me, regardless of the price tag), but I know some connoisseurs who say there are plenty of good boxed wines. I don’t think the container signifies the quality. My wife says one of the best wines she ever had was a 6 euro bottle of french table wine, better than a 150 euro bottle I got for her birthday.

        • Breadhax0r@lemmy.world
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          5 hours ago

          It’s funny because I’ve seen people say before that wine is completely subjective. The price has no bearing on flavor. If you like it you like it.

  • Onomatopoeia@lemmy.cafe
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    1 day ago

    You’re not wrong!

    I’m a fan of the martini - when I’m in the mood to drink. But make it gin, a good one like Boodles or some of the new stuff with citrus notes.

    Another good shower thought today!

  • Chessmasterrex@lemmy.world
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    15 hours ago

    I noticed in my younger years that despite vodka’s fairly neutral quality, I find that it can cause the worst halitosis after a heavy session of imbibing. Brushing and mouthwash doesn’t make it go away. I’ve not experienced this with other distilled spirits. It’s epecially nasty kissing someone who was drinking lots of it the night before.

  • Fluffy Kitty Cat@slrpnk.net
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    21 hours ago

    That’s why you gotta order them wet so there’s more.vermouth in there. I prefer them dirty as well (splash of olive brine)