I mean I wouldn’t dare say this to a therapist, I’d get involuntarily committed, which would just make me even more depressed.
Being involuntarily committed requires a present danger to yourself or others. Curiosity is not that. Talk to a therapist, it can really help.
(Also, for what it’s worth, being committed can really help. I spent a few days in a mental health ward and, while I wanted nothing more than to get out at the time, it ended up being very good for me. Unfortunately it also meant I started avoiding talking to a therapist, like you’re doing. I regret that result immensely, therapy is too useful.)
Right now she tells me she loves me. (which according to the internet, is apparantly uncommon for Chinese parents?)
But if I mention suicidal feelings, oh shit that is like nuclear war.
So I just don’t talk about it anymore.
That’s the thing, its so taboo to talk about, society expects you to hide it.
If you talk to people about it, they will distance themselves from you and not wanna be your friend. Of if they are already your “friend”, you’re gonna be a burden, like emotionally, and so they would distamce themself from you, probably.
So these topics really just get buried and hidden away to some dark corner of the internet, here.
But if I mention suicidal feelings, oh shit that is like nuclear war.
Yeah, even if not helpful for you probably, that’s a pretty normal parent response to a threat like that. I’m not being sarcastic here. It’s not an indication that they don’t love or value you, rather the exact opposite.
My personal recommendation to you is that you should be very careful what anonymous people in the internet tell you when the context is this important. Some people just don’t give a shit about the well-being of anyone and will actively try to make things worse for you.
Right now she tells me she loves me. (which according to the internet, is apparantly uncommon for Chinese parents?)
But if I mention suicidal feelings, oh shit that is like nuclear war.
Yeah, most people want their kids to live. If the kid tells them they are considering dying, it’s reasonable for alarm bells to ring in the parents’ head and to behave irrationally in a panic state.
Honestly, I don’t know how I would react if one of my kids told me something like that. I obviously would want to prevent it, but I don’t think it would be an angry reaction. Mom might just not know how to deal with problems without fighting them aggressively.
I post the dark thoughts online so I can clear my mind of those thoughts, to “process” those thoughts.
I mean I wouldn’t dare say this to a therapist, I’d get involuntarily committed, which would just make me even more depressed.
Last time I asked this question to my mom, she got mad at me.
Sometimes being committed isn’t a bad thing. It’s not pleasant to think about, but the process exists for a reason.
It’s a permanent record. Makes it much harder to emigrate.
Oh damn. Apparently if you have mental problems you get trapped too. I’m sure that helps anxiety issues for sure.
Being involuntarily committed requires a present danger to yourself or others. Curiosity is not that. Talk to a therapist, it can really help.
(Also, for what it’s worth, being committed can really help. I spent a few days in a mental health ward and, while I wanted nothing more than to get out at the time, it ended up being very good for me. Unfortunately it also meant I started avoiding talking to a therapist, like you’re doing. I regret that result immensely, therapy is too useful.)
Is your mom ever NOT mad at you? You should try to stop assuming that everyone is as unstable as her.
Its a very weird love-hate relationship.
Right now she tells me she loves me. (which according to the internet, is apparantly uncommon for Chinese parents?)
But if I mention suicidal feelings, oh shit that is like nuclear war.
So I just don’t talk about it anymore.
That’s the thing, its so taboo to talk about, society expects you to hide it.
If you talk to people about it, they will distance themselves from you and not wanna be your friend. Of if they are already your “friend”, you’re gonna be a burden, like emotionally, and so they would distamce themself from you, probably.
So these topics really just get buried and hidden away to some dark corner of the internet, here.
Yeah, even if not helpful for you probably, that’s a pretty normal parent response to a threat like that. I’m not being sarcastic here. It’s not an indication that they don’t love or value you, rather the exact opposite.
My personal recommendation to you is that you should be very careful what anonymous people in the internet tell you when the context is this important. Some people just don’t give a shit about the well-being of anyone and will actively try to make things worse for you.
Get professional help.
Yeah, most people want their kids to live. If the kid tells them they are considering dying, it’s reasonable for alarm bells to ring in the parents’ head and to behave irrationally in a panic state.
Honestly, I don’t know how I would react if one of my kids told me something like that. I obviously would want to prevent it, but I don’t think it would be an angry reaction. Mom might just not know how to deal with problems without fighting them aggressively.