I’m in the process of doing the above and would like to hear about your experience. Were there any surprises? What was as you expected?
I think this really, really depends on the country.
I’ve noticed that eccentric people tend to drift towards rural areas. My in-laws live in the middle of nowhere in the West Country in the UK and all of their neighbours are similar to them: eccentric singletons or couples with few friends.
My experience- YMMV. Be careful who you talk to and what gossip you engage in. Basically everyone knows everyone to some degree. Everybody is somebodies cousins friend or something. Its a good thing when you get used to it, more security and whatever, but it does mean that any social damage you do (cheating on someone for instance) will have far wider consequences than you realise.
Job hunting is extremely difficult for the same reason unless you’re trained in some in-demand specialist skill. Every job goes to someone’s cousin. In my last factory job we had an idiot working there, constantly on the verge of getting sacked, he attended a funeral one day and discovered that his dead cousin was also cousins with the manager. He was team leader the very next week for his overall diligence to duty.
The selection shrinks… on everything. 30 beers on tap at that nice brewhouse becomes 3 at the local watering hole. 20 different unique restaraunts becomes a subway and a chinese place. Groceries? Sure, enjoy your walmart and dollar general.
Bar culture is a waste of money anyways.
You can get more variety at a cheaper price from grocery stores. It doesn’t make sense to pay more money to drink at a bar with people who you’re not close enough to visit each other’s homes.
Anyone who spends $7 on a shot when an entire bottle costs $12 isn’t using their brain.
I go to the pub after work once a week to catch up with friends who are there.
I wouldn’t see them otherwise
Meeting people at the grocery store: 😰
Yeah, I’m a pretty cheap person, but I don’t go to a bar to save money, I go to relax and socialize.
If you’re not living a boring life, then you should naturally come across plenty of different people with plenty of different opportunities to make connections.
“Meeting people at the grocery store” is a lazy and ignorant excuse to justify going to bars. If you think those are your only two options, then you’re the problem and I pity anyone who gets caught in your web.
Why do I need to justify going to a bar?
Ask the people here trying to justify why they go to bars.
And you don’t understand that some people prefer the bar. But I guess you have the only right way to do things.
If you’re insecure about getting taken for a ride, that’s on you. There’s no argument you can make to change the fact that you are being fleeced when you buy alcohol at bars. Drug addicts say the same things when they are paying 500%+ markup on their drugs. “It’s worth it to them.”
Keep going to bat for the people ripping you off. It’s what’s expected of you.
Lol I’m not insecure, nice try. When I went to a bar I had a pint or three in good company, sometimes, shocker!, we even ate at a restaurant, even if I could have been paying less for something cheap from the supermarket and eat at home.
But you do you, watch out for scurvy as you eat crappy cheap food alone at home lol, counting every penny.
Lol I’m not insecure
Sure bud. That’s why you keep trying to justify to us why you’re not getting ripped off when you are.
I might as well be talking to a heroin addict. They don’t think they’re getting ripped off, either.
I’ve sold drugs to people like you before, and it’s always sad when you don’t realize how much money I’m making off of your ignorance.
I was with you until you said grocery store beer. No selection at grocery stores in my area unless you want a lager.
I’m mostly referring to liquor because it’s the most economical way to get drunk.
My local Walmart has a decent selection of beers, but I’ve been to HEBs that have entire sections devoted to craft beers. It may depend on the grocery store in question.
You can still get a better selection at a cheaper price at liquor stores than bars.
I’m mostly referring to liquor because it’s the most economical way to get drunk.
Why not bathtub moonshine? That is even more economical.
Hey man, if you have more money than sense that’s your problem. You don’t have to go around replying to everything I post trying to explain why you like getting ripped off.
The profit margins for the alcohol you buy at bars is significantly higher than alcohol you buy in stores. You’re getting ripped off, and in typical useful idiot fashion, you need to figure out some way to avoid acknowledging it.
Did you reply to the wrong comment or something? This doesn’t make any sense.
If you don’t want to understand something, then you won’t understand it.
I don’t expect more from you.
If you think the only use of a pub is to get drunk then I think you’re using them wrong…
The pond gets small really fucking quick. You will run into someone you know almost every time you leave the house. You can’t just blend in and get away from anything. Including whatever reputation you develop.
It’s honestly fucking awful.
Y’know, that’s the primary thing people cite as being nice about a small town. Interesting it was a nasty surprise for you.
“Why don’t you go to church?” gets tedious after the 14,000th time.
He couldn’t hide his reputation enough lmao
How small are we talking? I moved from a large city (Ft. Lauderdale, FL 185k people) to an insanley large city (Brooklyn, NY 2.6 million) then as a sort of whip lash decided I wanted rural living so I took my RV to an area I was thinking of buying a few acres in (Mossyrock, WA ~1000 people) and plopped for a few months. It was not for me. Real “one coffee shop, one restaraunt, one bar” type place and while I loved it initially, the pain-in-the ass of day to day living was too much. Think 20 min drives to the closest gas station, 45 min drives to the nearest large grocer.
After moving around the area quite a bit, I landed on a place with ~35k people and to me, after two years, I am still loving it. Feels like small town rural living but downtown is a 10 min drive away with a bunch of eateries, bars, nightlife, etc.
Pros of ‘smaller’ town living (after trying a few areas that passed the vibe check):
- Community. With everything going on in the world right now it feels like you are powerless. Shrinking the scope of your action to your neighbors and your immediate area empowers you to make change in a way you’ve never felt before. You can participate and have direct impact in all sorts of ways, from city council meetings, to improvement projects, to just participating in a local farmers market.
- Safety. Some people may see this as a negative, and I guess it could be depending on how invasive your direct neighbors are lol, but for me on 5 acres it’s been incredible. Everyone knows if something is amiss and are not afraid to ‘ring the alarm’ as it were. When I first bought the property I was parking along the road as it was very overgrown, countless people stopped and asked if I needed help with the car (assuming I had broken down) then proceeded to introduce themselves and have met a ton of people in this way.
- Affordability. Land and housing is cheaper, groceries stay the same (assuming you are near a main interstate). You can buy a house for the price of an apartment in a large city.
- Quiet. Being in a large city is being in the belly of the beast. The gears are turning all night long. With smaller city living, it’s the opposite, peace and quiet, take a deep breath and relax. Night life and night owls still exist, but you have to go hunt them down.
- Less Police Presence. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less “boys in blue” - furthermore, because it’s usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
- Gardens and Greenery. Speaks for itself, less population density == less concrete paradise == more biodiversity.
Cons:
- Commute. If you don’t have a WFH gig, most smaller cities will not have an abundance of the type of work you do. You’ll most likely have a commute so somewhere with light rail might be awesome for you if that’s the case.
- Gentrification. Depending on where you come from and where you are moving to, you might be seen as a sort of ‘colonizer.’ I don’t get that sneer but I did get several people making sure I was not coming from California LOL.
- Slower Pace. In FL it’s known colloquially as “Cuban Time” basically meaning that time estimates should be taken with a grain of salt. The pace of the life is slower in a small town and you might find services taking forever to be completed. If you can relax and go with the flow though, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue.
Ok this turned into an essay, this new coffee bean smacks. Best of luck!
Small town only feel safer until you end up pissing off the wrong person with the right influence. And then it feels like living in some Mafia nightmare. It doesn’t even take pissing people off either. Tell someone you are gay in secret? Now half the town thinks you are a pedophile.
Small town “safety” is a myth for the privileged. The crime gap is also kind of a myth. Most small town police departments won’t even write a report for domestic violence unless someone ends up in the hospital.
I’m sorry you have had bad experiences and they’ve stuck with you. I wish you the best in the future!
- **Less Police Presence**. Crime rates drop inordinately as the population decreases, and with that, you see a lot less “boys in blue” - furthermore, because it’s usually just a few people, you get to know them and have less anxiety with interactions.
That’s not the impression I got from Twin Peaks 🧐
I’m going from a city of 300k to a town of 2k. Fortunately there’s a gas station and groceries in town, less than 5 minutes driving / totally walkable for small hauls.
All the pros you mentioned are things I’m looking forward to. I do WFH so no crazy commutes!
Thanks for sharing!
You’re going to love it - I can tell. Enjoy it!!
A lot of people from California come to the smaller cities near bigger cities in southern Missouri. What sucks is that they’re driving up the costs of homes and real estate. Wish I could go somewhere that’s still kinda nice and get a bigger nicer house for 1\4 the cost and retire early.
I get it, I often daydream about life as a member of the lucky sperm club lol
This all mostly tracks with my experience in southern Aroostook county, Maine. I moved here at the end of June. My town has 400 people. However, I do not mind the things that bothered u/lowspeedchase. Not usually anyway, lol. I have 10 acres of land, and my house was very inexpensive. I moved from dense suburban Massachusetts. I DO WFH, and I have high speed internet here. I’m quite happy!
That’s awesome! I am supposed to get fiber in 6 months but with them neutering the rural broadband fund it might not happen, color me jealous!
I’ve read a couple of articles in the last few years about a couple regular people who implemented municipal fiber in their communities and charge very low rates. I’m seriosly considering seeing if that’s feasible here. Current internet is coaxial that comes in on telephone poles. Somehow they finagle gigabit download speeds with it.
Damn I would be so down to socialize fiber like that!!!
Also Ontario, not quite as small as you are mentioning but I also came from a much bigger city:
- services you are used to and good you could find easily just… don’t exist? My dryer broke and I wanted to find a laundry mat that had hours that worked for me and my work schedule, but nope.
- people are all up in each other’s business and it’s normal. Gone are the days where I could have a quiet cry on public transit (lol what public transit) - people pay so much attention to your comings and going
- because there is so much less anonymity you kind of have to make the effort to get along with people you might not otherwise like. Tangential: the number of people I see in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they honestly “didn’t have any other options” is wild.
- people are way more xenophobic than I expected. Casually racist too, not really understanding that it’s racism. I know it’s not everyone and I think it’s because they don’t know anyone belong to demographics that are different than them.
- I’m like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it’s a problem for some people.
- if you need a recommendation for a service, honestly ask your neighbor or someone you generally trust. They will know someone and that person is usually pretty good. We asked our home inspector if they knew any well people and he gave us a first name. After some googling we found him and he was excellent lol.
Eta, thought of a few more:
- you said small town but didn’t specify rural or not so this might not apply to you but the switch from municipal water to well and septic took a little adjustment. I went from surface water to ground water and the taste was very different but I got used to it quickly.
- also a rural thing: We ended up with a lot less land than we originally wanted because we didn’t realize the lower land/house costs were in places with absolute shit satellite or cellular internet.
- way more drunk driving
- people here smoke a lot more weed than I would have expected, which is nice for me lol
- people have been really nice in general which is the flip side of the lack of anonymity.
- rural grocery stores are expensive. I’m looking at you, foodland. There aren’t as many low cost grocery stores. I really, really miss the little green grocers I used to frequent.
- people take hockey very seriously. I guess that also explains the golf.
people are all up in each other’s business and it’s normal.
Do you have any stories to tell about that?
I’m like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it’s a problem for some people.
I’m also curious about what this is like. I’m probably a bit more “alternative” in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won’t recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Do you have any stories to tell about that?
No specific stories come to mind, but my neighbor who is a very chill live-and-let live dude knows everything about all the other neighbors. He’s probably in his late 30s so he’s not a retiree sitting around watching people come and go.
I think it might be more that people get to know each other more and make more observations about people because there are less data points, if that makes sense? Whereas in the bigger city people are aggressive about not remembering you/not paying attention outside of certain situations (like getting to know people at the dog park).
Maybe the thing that sticks out are people in shops striking up convos and remembering you. One woman at the hardware store remarked that it was weird to see us because it wasn’t Sunday.
I’m also curious about what this is like. I’m probably a bit more “alternative” in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won’t recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?
Tattoos are very common here but there is also a lot of military so it might corelate. I have tattoos and piercings but for the first time in my professional life my boss had tattoos as well lol. I’m an engineer who works mostly with the trades but maybe 10% of the time I’m dealing with “fancy” office engineers so maybe they do have more of a problem with my tattoos, piercings, and field gear wardrobe than I initially thought.
In my specific situation I think the fact that I’m not as formal or deferential as they were expecting. I am very straightforward and I expect people to be straightforward with me too. The field staff really appreciated it because they thought the big city girl would be pretentious and stuffy, but for others I didn’t follow the niceties they were expecting and I’m way too outspoken for a woman lol. In the bigger city there was less of a divide between the blue collar and white collar workers. I’m not used to that and the expectation to be “professional” meaning anything other than treating people with respect.
On the flip side of that people at all levels are way too comfortable pushing back on diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives very publicly. I haven’t gotten involved in that kind of stuff here because I’m still trying to get used to the job, settle in, etc. In the bigger city they might grumble a bit but would know better than to keep up the behaviors they were told wouldn’t fly. I gave positive space training to a group of millwrights back home, but I’m not sure I’d put myself in that situation here. It just feels 10 years behind. That’s not to say everyone is out there being problematic, but people are a lot more comfortable being a passive bystander and that’s allowing bullshit to continue.
Live and let live has a different vibe out in the sticks.
That makes sense that, because there are less people, it’s easier to keep track of each other even if it’s just due to passive observation.
I appreciate reading your insights. Thanks for sharing!
Good luck!
My friends who have often complained about boredom due to the lack of cultural options and nightlife.
My only surprise was how shit every nearby restaurant is
Doesn’t surprise me that the main thing city people complain about is they need more places to spend their money.
“Oh, is Mr. Bougie too good for our local pub gruel!?”
And the lack of ingredients in the restaurants.
Seriously only a choice between orange or white cheese?
Cheese is named by colour, and not name, in your area? That’s amazing
By color, yes.
If you call it emmental, cheddar or worse of all something like provolone you’d probably get told to go back to LA or NYC.
Crazy. Alternate reality spelling of colour, and cheese is named, not by name. The world is indeed, a strange place.
How small we talking?
Around 2,000 people
Oh wow, yeah, truly small. It depends on your own outlook and how willing you are to assimilate, or if you’re okay with being kind of an outcast who sticks to themselves. If for instance you’re a young progressive atheist moving to a rural Tennessee town of deeply religious conservatives, yeah that’s not going to be fun. Small Vermont ski town? You’ll fit right in. Alaskan town? They’ll be conservative, sure, but given the weather and isolation, people have a tendency to rely upon each other and that brings the community closer together.
I grew up rural just outside a town of about 30,000 that was just transitioning to a formally-designated small city. You could go to the grocery store and not see people you knew 2 out of 3 times, I’d say. It’s not always bad. We’re social creatures and the internet has gotten us away from that, somewhat detrimentally.
The community ain’t as wholesome… People are about as a nasty as they are in the big city but it is a lot more personal
I’m experiencing the exact opposite, personally.
My neighbors have been extremely kind and generous, on a level that couldn’t even be dreamed of in the city.
They’ve literally helped me cut my grass on several occasions out of pure kindness because they have a riding mower and I have a push one. And that’s just one family.
My car has also never been broken into after years of living here. In the city, all of my friends’ cars have been broken into.
Here’s the thing about “groceries in town”. You will find deals at the deli/bakery and possibly the butcher areas of the store. Sometimes. That said, 80% of it is ridiculously priced.
What often happens is people store more food and bundle their drive into town for stuff.
I will, for example, do most of my grocery shopping after my last shift in a run. Less gas and bother and it’s on the way.
We have a large garden. Two freezers. Cold storage. Two fridges. Fruit trees. If a snow storm dropped and we were stuck for a month we’d be fine. The food would get boring, but we’d be fine.
The one danger to this move you’re making will be the sounds or lack thereof. Once you go rural you may have a very hard time going back to hearing people and their vehicles all the time. As in they become a point of grating stress until they stop.
I don’t even live in a rural area and am thinking of more ways to store/preserve food. Want to get a bunch of jars to preserve things in. Along with getting an allotment so that I can grow more although currently most fruits I forage from publicly accessible trees/bushes. Recently came back with a sack full of apples and cooked that down to about 5L of unsweetened apple sauce.
I was going to try dehydrating it but the first 2L batch has got me deciding fuck that, it will take so much time/energy to dehydrate it all. Storing it in jars should be much easier in comparison.
That’s something I’ve thought about. I already cook most of my food from scratch and expect I should stock up from the bigger town out of the way on occasion. My town does get a lot of snow.
As for the sounds, I’m so looking forward to peace and quiet. There’s always someone’s car alarm going off in the middle of the night, or the dogs getting into barking and howling matches. Hell is other people.
I grew up in a rural area next to a smaller city, and also spent a lot of time staying with relatives in small towns. Moved to a city as an adult.
Small town gossip and people who try to be a big fish in a small pond are absolutely common occurrences in small towns. It also happens in cities, but is less noticeable because it is easier to avoid those kind of people and get ‘lost in the crowd’. Going back to visit the smaller towns showed they still gossiped about the same people and things because there just isn’t as much going on to talk about.
Kind of like when only having a few networks meant everyone talked about the same shows, while streaming means there is far more things to talk about and the discussion gets spread out.
The one big positive for small rural towns is that a large portion of the population does support each other on a regular basis. A lot of work is done as favors instead of transactional like in cities, but it also means that if a disaster happens neighbors will go out of their way to help those in need, even the people they don’t like.
I personally prefer either the city or completely rural and town adjacent because small town people are absolutely exhausting to interact with the majority of the time and it feels like there is no escape. Visiting can be fun!
Where are you from?
Because my first piece of feedback is that the more you go rural the more it matters where the place is. Everybody below seems to be American and… man, based on what they’re saying I can tell you my experience doesn’t match theirs and I wouldn’t want theirs.
Ontario, Canada
Gotcha. Can’t really help you there, then.
Not exactly city but still rather near to city center(15-20min drive), to a small town that’s quite remote from most stuff(35-50min drive).
Expectation: air quality would be good, quiet, very far commute to work
Reality: air quality is mostly good, quiet, very far from work.
Surprise: there’s one poultry farm nearby which make the air quality worst for certain time of day.
Not-surprise but still annoying: i picked up cycling after i moved here, and there’s no safe biking path to the city, even the backroad still require me to ride on a few km of road, and some fuck will not give ample space when passing through.
Surprise but a welcomed one: i get access to country-side cycling route via backroad.
