No one knows the difference between fire eating and fire breathing. Everyone asks me for fire breathing lessons. I don’t fire breathe. I also highly advise against it.
As a teacher: I don’t get summers off.
As a waitress: Carrying food or drinks to the table is the least significant part of the job.
“oh wow your photography is so nice what camera do you use?”
._. photography is 80% skill and 20% gear and yet, i never get asked “what technique did you use?”, it’s always about the camera i use, as if this entry level DSLR is framing and shooting on its own
I work in IT (Sysadmin). “Oh, you fix computers? Can you look at my laptop?”
“I’d be glad to, which UNIX do you use on it?” generally stops that conversation from progressing.
I wish. When I tell people I’ve been exclusively using Linux for more than 10 years they give me a blank look then repeat the question.
I’ve had to be very direct with my family that I don’t fix computers (anymore, I used to do remote and hands on helldesk), I fix the deeper kind of stuff that keeps email working for an entire company, or makes sure new hires can log in to work stuff.
I’m an IT manager and today I had the director of HR bring me her new iphone asking if I can help her set it up. Um, no… first, that isn’t my job, and second, I have no idea how to setup an iphone. I assume it’s an easy process but I’ve never done it before and have more pressing matters to attend to instead of fiddling with her new phone.
Lol, been there. But my former CTO had one that I think takes the cake:
My (now former) CTO showed up to a C-suite/executive meeting shortly after he joined the company and they asked him to sort out the fucking A/V setup (read: projector, computer to put the slideshow on, clicker to advance the slides, hooking it all up, etc). In a hotel conference room that was “bring your own hardware”. With no warning.
And these chucklefucks expect perfection. We must have burned over a million on the executive conference room at our HQ. “The camera that automatically zooms into who is speaking isn’t fast enough at changing targets” type shit.
We’re a company of over 4000 employees. Every single C-suite/executive meeting before then they would book one of the senior members of our in-person internal tech support team for support for that shit, so they should have known better.
It wasn’t some joking hazing thing either. They legitimately just hadn’t fucking planned for how they were going to present their slideshow at this off site location and expected the CTO to just magic it together. Why they needed to do it offsite when they had a fancy ass overly expensive room built for conferences at the HQ? No fucking clue.
The things that come out at tech division happy hours are wild once the higher ups get a few drinks in them.
I do not actually have keys to anything, nor am I allowed to wear headphones.
(Janitor)
Why no headphones? Seems like that would make the job more enjoyable.
…that’s why.
/s it’s a safety issue, kitchen workers aren’t allowed to use them either
The safety issue thing is bullshit. First of all, there isn’t any kind of sounds that would indicate any kind of danger other than the fire alarm (which also has lights and is loud enough that even noise cancellation doesn’t muffle it) where I work. Secondly, deaf people are allowed to do the job and they can’t hear anything ever.
It truly is all about “looking professional.” Why not make me clean toilets in a tuxedo, then?
It’s frugal.
… It’s not. Yarn is expensive as hell, even more so if you want any type of durability or wearability or comfort.
I’m a web developer. People assume the following:
- I’m an expert with operating systems.
- I’m good with math.
- I eat junk food and drink energy drinks/soda.
- I’m a proponent and consumer of all new technologies.
- I like (insert) TV, Movie, or Anime.
I’m knowledgeable about operating systems.
I’m good with math.
I eat junk food and drink energy drinks/soda.
I read about new techniques but am very wary of heavily marketed stuff.
I read a ton of Asian comics.People assume that I know how to do webpages, they don’t know what a web developer is. No, I don’t know l. Well barely but not really, I’m a data engineer goddammit.
Hey bro, can you hack my ex GFs Facebook?
Yeah, by social engineering. You would probably be better at that than myself though since you can get a girlfriend.
That I can fix their computer or home network.
Sorry, Bubba, if your router costs less than my PC, there’s not much I can do. Same answer if your PC costs less than my car.
Also, I haven’t been good at troubleshooting windows (to the extent that is at all possible) since Tobey was Spiderman.
- QA tests software.
- QA reports issue with software.
- Developers review issue report.
- “Will Not Fix”, “Works As Designed”, “Cannot Reproduce”, “Works on my machine”
End Users: “This software is buggy, their QA must suck!”
As a developer I cherish Q/A and dread anytime they would start typing something into Teams.
I work with embedded programming. I am not the first person you should ask to make a website for you…
People assume that because I’m into technology that I can unlock
stolenphones or do XYZ whatever with their Facebook/Twitter/Instagram accounts or whatever. One, I don’t touch stolen devices. Two, I don’t have any accounts with any of those sort of services, and ain’t about to start one to learn the ins and outs for other people.
