John Doe

I used to work for the federal government and we all HATED a certain department manager. It was a huge facility with hundreds of employees and had an institutional sized break room with several glass door commercial refrigerators, like you see at convenience stores. Employees had to have their names on all refrigerated items or they would be thrown out. Somehow I wound up with a bottle of chocolate flavored edible lube, so I put the department manager’s name on it and stuck it amongst the bottles of condiments. The department manager was too good to eat in the break room with the peons, so she never saw it. Everybody hated her and got a huge laugh out of it and the chocolate lube sat in the fridge for months :) Maybe put something like that randomly in their refrigerator or in a cabinet.

There are more stars in the visible universe than grains of sand in all the beaches in earth. Our individual lives mean bupkis.

Never because there will be no middle class within a couple of years

When I was a kid I thought the expression, the coast is clear, was actually, the ghost is clear, which makes sense that the ghost would be transparent but had nothing to do with a situation being safe enough to proceed with whatever you were doing. But I’m originally from Texas, where we have tons of idioms and colloquialisms that don’t make sense, so I just went with it.

• Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues (live from San Quentin version!)
• Kraftwerk - Trans Europe Express
• Half Man Half Biscuit - Time Flies By When You’re The Driver Of A Train

Anal

The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?

This is kind of cheesy probably but I upgraded to the Pixel 9 Pro XL and added on the Pixel Watch 3 (45mm), as well as the Pixel Buds Pro 2 earbuds the year before last. I had exclusively used cheap budget Android phones and wired earbuds before. I did already have a Samsung Watch 5 but I got the Pixel Watch 3 for the total current generation ecosystem experience at the time. It is so much more elevated than my scene prior to that. The Pro 2 earbuds are fricking phenomenal. I sleep with them every single night without any discomfort whatsoever and both buds are still in my ears when I wake up virtually every day. Anyway, I was shocked at how much more pleasurable it made my interaction with personal tech. I will likely never spring for all new gadgets again but I will continue to buy the flagship level devices from now on, even if I’m buying them a couple of years old on Swappa.

I agree with this. I have a friend who is a pediatric dentist and she said to get a sonic toothbrush and use it the rest of my life. It immediately made a difference and I credit it and regular thorough non-alcohol mouthwash rinsing with keeping dental infections at bay, which I was prone to beforehand.

People I see

Just remind me of mooing

Like a cow on the grass

And that’s not to say

That there’s anything wrong

With being a cow anyway

But people are people

With the added advantage

Of the spoken word

We’re getting on fine

But I feel more of a man

When I get with the herd

From Elegant Chaos by Julian Cope https://youtu.be/Bj1pAd92E3k

You’re Having My Baby by Paul Anka!! One of the worst songs ever recorded. “The seed inside ya, baby, do you feel it growin?” The gold standard for cheesy bullshit. It’s so awful that I absolutely adore it.

https://youtu.be/SFHWl-ZyRAg

AmeriKKKa! Fuck yeah!! ✝️🏈🦅

A lesbian couple’s cat. Do you really need an explanation?

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Depends on location. I wouldn’t leave my doors or windows unlocked in any major US city with a population of 100k or more. I live in NY but about three hours north of NYC in a small village of 2500. I never lock my doors and have no fears whatsoever.

Hookers and coke for the win!!

I’m 57 in the US and up until the last ten years I always thought that things would get better in my lifetime and that ultimately my country would eventually choose the right financial and moral paths. Now I not only don’t believe that will happen in my lifetime but I doubt if this nation will bounce back in my kid’s lifetime, if ever.