Trump: The buck stops somewhere. Maybe over there. I don’t know anything about that. My lawyers might know. Ask them.

I never trusted suntan lotion. Admittedly, I suspected the chemicals themselves of causing cancer. But the Japanese use umbrellas to block the sun, and I’ve started doing that too. It might seem not so manly to some, but those people can all die in a fiery sun for all I care.

Actually, in Japan there isn’t a housing crisis because of this very truism. Real estate isn’t seen as an investment.

Oh fuck that. No way I want to line up behind 20 women when I need to drop a deuce