Russia are never going to agree to this…
20 Point plan:
- Put a bullet in Putin’s head. Bury the body upside down in an outhouse’s full hole with permafrost. The outhouse will remain in operation in perpetuity as a functional national monument.
- Let the remaining Russian generals have a celebratory meal of Polonium Soup.
- Let the Russian cabinet of ministers wank each other to celebrate peace with fleshlights lubed with novichok and sand.
- All Russian foreign assets including Putin’s personal fortune go to reconstructing Ukraine. All lands returned +10% as the start of an apology.
- Russia will start a youth program to ecologically restore Ukraine first by demining, then by picking out the shrapnel and debris out of the soil.
- All Ukrainians in Russia are returned home and are given three free faceslaps of their captors to be used at time of their choosing.
- Russian national media will start a weekly broadcast called “Why are we always such assholes?”
- Russia will hand over all nukes to Ukraine with a promise they will never invade Russia.
- By law, every time someone in Russia dies from falling out a window, one their secret service agency has to throw out one of their own out the same window. The person will be selected by lottery.
- Russia will decomission it’s fossil fuel industry and become leaders in green technology. During the difficult transition, Russia will power their economy with giant hamster wheels filled with military veterans.
- The Russian Military’s uniform will be changed to pink tutus. Rank will be indicated by tiara size and structure. 10% of training must be ballet. Anyone who fails to achieve proficiency is ejected.
- Russian police forces now have to protect protesters and public speeches. Their uniforms include t-shirts, shorts and flip flops.
- All foreign military bases will be converted to ice cream stores.
- The Russian submarine fleet will be hollowed out and welded together to make a giant waterslide.
- LGBTQ2S+ will be embraced with cultural facilities provided for.
- Agent Krasnov (Trump) will be recalled and will clean the toilets at said facilities.
- Small arms facilities (AK47 etc…) will be converted to produce sex toys.
- Heavy arms production facilities will be converted to production of bigger, better sex toys.
- Russia will institute immediate democratic proportional representation elections where candidates are chosen by lottery from an “Oh god! Please, no!” Registry.
- Russia can perform at Eurovision, but only with Drag artists.
The big question on security guarantees is how to enforce them. Ukraine already has security guarantees from US, UK and Russia, but look what happened. Nobody cares.
The promising part about this proposal is, that it proposes a tripwire force, but is that sufficient?
Russia are never going to agree to this…
Russia won’t agree to anything that isn’t the complete capitulation of Ukraine and Zelenskyy being replaced with a Russia-friendly
puppetleader.Having a plan out there in public isn’t just about the plan, it’s also a message to Russia that Ukraine (and Zelenskyy) aren’t making it up as they go along and that this is what they intend to do if the Russians don’t
idit’ na h-ygo home.Russia are never going to agree to this…
Sure, but this puts them in the position of refusing to end the war
I’ve got a 1 point plan. Load up Ukraine for as long as it takes to send Russia home with its tail between its legs.
A better plan would be for the rest of the world to unite and send forces to drive Russia out of Ukraine. Show that invading countries won’t be tolerated.
It won’t happen for a ton of reasons that don’t even involve nukes, because the world sucks. But that would be the one effective way to end the invasion.
Agreed. The UN should have put a stop to it with boots on the ground in the ideal world we don’t live in.
I guarantee Americas military industrial complex lobbied day and night to ensure the piecemeal quagmire and perpetual subscription were chosen over the “1 week annihilation of all Russian forces within Ukraines borders”.
A lot of those clauses depend on the EU, UK and USA doing things like offering security guarantees and entry into the EU…
Have these been agreed???
This is probably the proposal that came out of the Berlin talks last week.
- In the Donetsk, Luhansk, Zaporizhzhia, and Kherson regions, the line of troop deployment as of the date of this agreement is de facto recognized as the line of contact.
I’m a bit confused, does this mean Ukraine is ceding territory to Russia?
No, this means that the current front is accepted to be the starting point for negotiation. This is a standard method of freezing the status quo during a ceasefire, pending further talks about a long-term solution.
IANAL but I think this means the conflict gets frozen along those lines without ceding this territory to Russia. If Russia violates the terms and conflict gets reignited Ukraine will in their right to try to recover this territory.
If Ukraine would cede this territory then attacking it in eventual future conflicts would mean that Ukraine is actually invading Russia.