As someone who went through a large part of adult life single, I know exactly what loneliness can and does do to a person.
But I also know that the solution to loneliness is not to jump into a pit of delusion and self-isolation, but to work on yourself (mentally, physically, and emotionally), to put yourself out there sociall (through hobbies, classes, work, clubs, making friends offline and online, etc), and to generally touch grass and gradually work on building relationships with other real human beings.
Have you ever seen that Star Trek TNG episode where Lt. Barkley is caught using the holodeck to fantasize about socializing with other people on the ship?
Coping mechanisms are fine to some degree, but spending your finite time and energy forming a fake relationship with a corporate technological entity isn’t going to create meaningful change in your life.
Live how you want. But in my opinion, we’re better off learning how to be happy alone than deluding yourself.
i’m kind of going through this myself recently…it’s a weird experience, have basically been an american otaku the last 15 years or so i guess. combine that with (high-functioning) autism and adhd…i’m seriously terrible at human interaction now and I’m not even really sure how much is the fucked brain chemistry and how much is the long-term social isolation.
also, not to detract from your example but was shown multiple times that the holograms were/could become sentient…which kind of undermines that plotline, i feel
On the other hand, there are plenty of other American otaku, myself included! There are more than enough to find other people to be social with.
I reccomend looking for geek related events and gatherings in your nearest city, conventions, movie screenings, barcades, hobby groups, and so on. My city (Portland) has all kinds of otaku stuff going on all the time. I went to a 3 hour long screening of the entirety of Gunbuster, and it was a full house, with people selling art, DVDs, and model kits in the lobby. Even making friends online has meaning, and If you can find likeminded people online who are local to you, you might be able to turn online relationships into offline ones. There is no shortage of nerds out there I promise.
But actually talking to people is the harder part, right?
No joke… if you shower, wear clean clothes and a neutral antiperspirant, and figure out something nice to say to people (a simple compliment like “I love your shirt!” is a easy ice breaker and sets you up for a follow up conversation), it’s a great way to practice being social. Make sure that your attitude is positive and try to avoid making people feel bad, stupid, ugly, etc.
Now… Not every social interaction is going to turn into a lasting relationship, and some of them might be awkward. (Occasionally a subset of people are going to be rude jerks for seemingly no reason, but that’ll actually a bigger problem for them then it is for you.) So I don’t recommend socializing with a specific goal, like finding a girlfriend, in mind.
You’re much better off trusting the process and simply trying to amass small social victories. For example, asking someone how their week is going, learning somebody’s name who you see often, complementing someone, joining a new group, etc.
I’m in my late 30s and I’ve made some personal social milestones that I’m proud of over the last few years, so I think it’s never too late to improve your social situation.
You guys don’t know what loneliness can do to a man.
You’re right. Lately, I’ve even thought about dying instantly and without fear, but part of me wants to live, and part of me doesn’t, and it’s been like that for five years now. At first, I thought about putting a bullet in my forehead, but now I’m thinking about dying instantly from a nuclear explosion so that I don’t even have a chance to think about resisting.
It’s not worth it. Some parts of life suck ass, but the good parts exist and are worth it.
Instead of killing yourself, try to “kill” your expectations and ego. “Kill” the idea of the person you need to be or the live you need to live.
Consider Diogenes, who lived happily like a dog in the market of classical Athens, because he understood that the things that society prescribed value are arbitrary and artificial. He felt no pressure to be or achieve anything in particular–he simply lived, like the animal that he understood himself to be.
The social pressures and forces that bother us today are likely just as arbitrary and artificial as the ones that Diogenes faced. A simple change of philosophy maybe be all you need.
Finally, you should also consider the chemical aspect of your emotions, and that your depression may be caused or exacerbated by an imbalance of natural chemicals in your brain. It’s worth seeking medical advice from a psychiatrist to see if drugs can help you.
you should probably see a therapist/psychiatrist…believe it or not most people don’t feel this way.
and if that feeling detracts from your ability to improve yourself/get better, you might just need a little chemical help to sorta jumpstart your brain up enough so you can work on improving yourself.
You guys don’t know what loneliness can do to a man.
I’m so alone that back in time I wished I had schizophrenia and a real-imaginary friend to talk with.
With AI this is basically true, you just need to believe it’s true, it’s like induced schizophrenia.
I don’t talk to any AI but I don’t judge who does.
As someone who went through a large part of adult life single, I know exactly what loneliness can and does do to a person.
But I also know that the solution to loneliness is not to jump into a pit of delusion and self-isolation, but to work on yourself (mentally, physically, and emotionally), to put yourself out there sociall (through hobbies, classes, work, clubs, making friends offline and online, etc), and to generally touch grass and gradually work on building relationships with other real human beings.
Have you ever seen that Star Trek TNG episode where Lt. Barkley is caught using the holodeck to fantasize about socializing with other people on the ship?
Coping mechanisms are fine to some degree, but spending your finite time and energy forming a fake relationship with a corporate technological entity isn’t going to create meaningful change in your life.
Live how you want. But in my opinion, we’re better off learning how to be happy alone than deluding yourself.
i’m kind of going through this myself recently…it’s a weird experience, have basically been an american otaku the last 15 years or so i guess. combine that with (high-functioning) autism and adhd…i’m seriously terrible at human interaction now and I’m not even really sure how much is the fucked brain chemistry and how much is the long-term social isolation.
also, not to detract from your example but was shown multiple times that the holograms were/could become sentient…which kind of undermines that plotline, i feel
I get it. And I know that feeling alone sucks.
On the other hand, there are plenty of other American otaku, myself included! There are more than enough to find other people to be social with.
I reccomend looking for geek related events and gatherings in your nearest city, conventions, movie screenings, barcades, hobby groups, and so on. My city (Portland) has all kinds of otaku stuff going on all the time. I went to a 3 hour long screening of the entirety of Gunbuster, and it was a full house, with people selling art, DVDs, and model kits in the lobby. Even making friends online has meaning, and If you can find likeminded people online who are local to you, you might be able to turn online relationships into offline ones. There is no shortage of nerds out there I promise.
But actually talking to people is the harder part, right?
No joke… if you shower, wear clean clothes and a neutral antiperspirant, and figure out something nice to say to people (a simple compliment like “I love your shirt!” is a easy ice breaker and sets you up for a follow up conversation), it’s a great way to practice being social. Make sure that your attitude is positive and try to avoid making people feel bad, stupid, ugly, etc.
Now… Not every social interaction is going to turn into a lasting relationship, and some of them might be awkward. (Occasionally a subset of people are going to be rude jerks for seemingly no reason, but that’ll actually a bigger problem for them then it is for you.) So I don’t recommend socializing with a specific goal, like finding a girlfriend, in mind.
You’re much better off trusting the process and simply trying to amass small social victories. For example, asking someone how their week is going, learning somebody’s name who you see often, complementing someone, joining a new group, etc.
I’m in my late 30s and I’ve made some personal social milestones that I’m proud of over the last few years, so I think it’s never too late to improve your social situation.
Good luck, man.
You’re right. Lately, I’ve even thought about dying instantly and without fear, but part of me wants to live, and part of me doesn’t, and it’s been like that for five years now. At first, I thought about putting a bullet in my forehead, but now I’m thinking about dying instantly from a nuclear explosion so that I don’t even have a chance to think about resisting.
It’s not worth it. Some parts of life suck ass, but the good parts exist and are worth it.
Instead of killing yourself, try to “kill” your expectations and ego. “Kill” the idea of the person you need to be or the live you need to live.
Consider Diogenes, who lived happily like a dog in the market of classical Athens, because he understood that the things that society prescribed value are arbitrary and artificial. He felt no pressure to be or achieve anything in particular–he simply lived, like the animal that he understood himself to be.
The social pressures and forces that bother us today are likely just as arbitrary and artificial as the ones that Diogenes faced. A simple change of philosophy maybe be all you need.
Finally, you should also consider the chemical aspect of your emotions, and that your depression may be caused or exacerbated by an imbalance of natural chemicals in your brain. It’s worth seeking medical advice from a psychiatrist to see if drugs can help you.
you should probably see a therapist/psychiatrist…believe it or not most people don’t feel this way.
and if that feeling detracts from your ability to improve yourself/get better, you might just need a little chemical help to sorta jumpstart your brain up enough so you can work on improving yourself.