I’ve had some moments where my teen was so fucked up mentally that in my very private thoughts I kinda suspected that they might do it. And in that very stressful situation, in my very private thougts, I would’ve understood that decision.
But if they actually had done it, all that fog would’ve cleared immediately and it would have sucked more than anything could suck.
edit I sure hope you’re not thinking with a single atom in your body of doing it to spite your parents.
I’m just trying to find a explanation that “hey maybe deep-down they love me” and use that as a reason live. Like idk how to explain it… feeling loved such a powerful motivator to live.
Like the sadder they’d feel, the more likely I’d appreciate living.
I don’t wanna die, but like I really wanna like visit an alternate timeline where the alternate-me does die of suicide, and like I wanna see my parents reaction… Like I know I probably sound sadistic af, but that’s not what I meant, I just want to have the “proof” that they care, so with this knowledge, I can finally purge the thoughts of suicide away from my brain… know what I’m sayin’?
I’ve had some moments where my teen was so fucked up mentally that in my very private thoughts I kinda suspected that they might do it. And in that very stressful situation, in my very private thougts, I would’ve understood that decision.
But if they actually had done it, all that fog would’ve cleared immediately and it would have sucked more than anything could suck.
edit I sure hope you’re not thinking with a single atom in your body of doing it to spite your parents.
I’m just trying to find a explanation that “hey maybe deep-down they love me” and use that as a reason live. Like idk how to explain it… feeling loved such a powerful motivator to live.
Like the sadder they’d feel, the more likely I’d appreciate living.
I don’t wanna die, but like I really wanna like visit an alternate timeline where the alternate-me does die of suicide, and like I wanna see my parents reaction… Like I know I probably sound sadistic af, but that’s not what I meant, I just want to have the “proof” that they care, so with this knowledge, I can finally purge the thoughts of suicide away from my brain… know what I’m sayin’?