I’m just trying to find a explanation that “hey maybe deep-down they love me” and use that as a reason live. Like idk how to explain it… feeling loved such a powerful motivator to live.
Like the sadder they’d feel, the more likely I’d appreciate living.
I don’t wanna die, but like I really wanna like visit an alternate timeline where the alternate-me does die of suicide, and like I wanna see my parents reaction… Like I know I probably sound sadistic af, but that’s not what I meant, I just want to have the “proof” that they care, so with this knowledge, I can finally purge the thoughts of suicide away from my brain… know what I’m sayin’?
Well, you know, your life and situation is more complicated than what you can describe in a text-based chat forum. If they’re like most parents, they do dozens of things every day that make sense only because they love you. You’re just used to them. Not to mention all the things they’ve done for you that you don’t even remember.
All of this is why I suggested in another message to get professional help. Because nobody here can know what you need and what your situation actually is.
I’m just trying to find a explanation that “hey maybe deep-down they love me” and use that as a reason live. Like idk how to explain it… feeling loved such a powerful motivator to live.
Like the sadder they’d feel, the more likely I’d appreciate living.
I don’t wanna die, but like I really wanna like visit an alternate timeline where the alternate-me does die of suicide, and like I wanna see my parents reaction… Like I know I probably sound sadistic af, but that’s not what I meant, I just want to have the “proof” that they care, so with this knowledge, I can finally purge the thoughts of suicide away from my brain… know what I’m sayin’?
Well, you know, your life and situation is more complicated than what you can describe in a text-based chat forum. If they’re like most parents, they do dozens of things every day that make sense only because they love you. You’re just used to them. Not to mention all the things they’ve done for you that you don’t even remember.
All of this is why I suggested in another message to get professional help. Because nobody here can know what you need and what your situation actually is.