For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I’ve never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It’s sentimental.

I don’t like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It’s perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don’t like new things.

We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?

We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I’m not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don’t like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?

  • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    1 hour ago

    Gifts don’t have to be something you like, want, or need

    My whole intention with gifts is to make someone else happy. Otherwise, it’s not a gift.

    I get where you come from, I think there are great answers here that explain why the two people here are likely upset. But if you gift someone something that you know they won’t like, that sucks.

    • pachrist@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      26 minutes ago

      There is a difference between giving some a gift you know they don’t like and giving someone a gift that they don’t like. It’s literally the thought that counts, and as someone who has been married a long time, it’s important to place the thought first and the gift a distant second.

      If (when) I get another tie for Father’s Day, I won’t necessarily like, want, or need it, but I will still cherish and appreciate it. It’s nice to get things you like, but it’s much nicer to be loved and appreciated.