Night time is quiet, no loud talking downstairs, no annoying kids yelling outside, mostly no sirens, less cars = less noise, good time to calm down and think about stuff… stuff like weird philosophical questions and questioning if reality is real, also browsing the web in silence, looking for my next [youtube video / film / tv / anime] to watch.
It’s like 6:30 AM here lolz.
What do I do during this time? I lie in bed with my eyes closed and try to fall asleep. I get up every half hour to hour and have a glass of water in the dark or something like that.
Do people mean ‘i don’t want to go to bed’ when they say they can’t sleep?
Anxiety. I can’t get out of my head. Thoughts spiral. And when I’m lying in bed with everything quiet it’s hard to shut it all up. Sometimes I can’t fall asleep. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night. I’ll try to thirty minutes to an hour before giving up. Then I’ll sit on my phone or go downstairs and watch tv. Eventually if I get tired enough I’ll go back to sleep. Otherwise I’ll wait until it’s time to get ready for the day.
I’m a night owl; I’m wide awake and super productive all night. During the day, I’m kind of sluggish and unproductive.
It’s apparently a genetic trait. I took a DNA test about a decade ago and paid to have my genetic data matched up with current research into specific genes. Turns out I have a gene associated with people who stay up most of the night. My mother and grandmother are the same; they usually don’t go to bed until after 3 AM most nights. So it’s definitely a genetic quirk and not necessarily a choice.
I spent 20 years in the US military, which required me to get up at ungodly early hours of the morning every work day. I was miserable for those 2 decades. Every day off, I slept in until close to noon just to feel rested again. Every work night, it was a struggle to go to bed at a reasonable time and shut my brain down so I could wake up ready for another day at work.
I have ADHD, so getting my brain to be quiet so I could sleep has always been a challenge. When I retired from the military, I fully retired. No more work for me; my pension and benefits cover my basic needs and that’s good enough for me. Now I sleep when I’m tired and get up when I’m awake, no matter what time of the day it is.
I think, because of my ADHD, I prefer the nighttime because it’s dark and quiet. No distractions, no noises, no people. I can just focus on what I need to get done. During the day, the world is filled with distractions and I can’t focus on anything.
It’s currently 6 AM here. I’ve been up all night long and I’m actually going to stay up as late as I can today. Every once in a while, my sleep schedule gets flipped so drastically that I end up sleeping all day and being awake all night. Which is fine, except that since COVID, most places aren’t open all night anymore. Not even Walmart or McDonald’s. So I can’t be productive with anything outside of my house.
So I reset my sleep schedule by staying up as long as I can the next day. Eventually I’ll crash and sleep most of the night through. Then I’ll be awake the next day and have plenty of business hours in my day to get stuff done.
Honestly, I need days to be about 26-28 hours long. Every single day, I stay up just a little bit later because I’m not tired yet, and that’s how my schedule eventually flips completely. If I could just be tired at the same time every night, I could maintain a solid schedule. I’m married, so I have to consider my wife’s schedule too. She gets lonely if I’m sleeping all day.
I spent 20 years in the US military
Now I’m curious, how accurate are movie portrayals of the military? Do higher officers yell at you all the time? Do fellow soldiers harass you? (Personally, me as an Asian American, I’m terrified of the military, especially the discrimination aspects, it’s why I won’t voluntary go there for no reasons lol) Did you ever get PTSD from it? Ever actually been in combat, or was it just during peacetime?
They are not very accurate. You’re more likely to get yelled at by a NCO(non commissioned officer) than by an officer on a day to day basis. Most officers are like middle managers until you hit the O-5 to O-6 rank. Officers give out orders, NCOs carryout orders using junior enlisted personnel. Most harassment stops outside of basic/advanced training, unless someone in your unit gets in trouble and then they might do a mass punishment where everyone is cleaning the barracks on a Friday night or over the weekend. I’m white, so I can’t speak much to the discrimination part, other than it didn’t happen much in the jobs that I was in. I’m positive it happens, but it didn’t happen out in the open when I was in. Obviously the current administration for the US government is changing that a bit. I can’t speak for the person you asked the question to, but I had two combat deployments and two trips to South Korea, with a solid bit of PTSD from the deployments.
I was in the Navy and I can corroborate this. I’ll add to it that a lot of our teachers at A school were O-1 to O-3 (Ensign to Lieutenant) and they were pretty cool. We used to mess with them from time to time when they left the building by lining up and making them salute all the way to the parking lot. They were good sports.
how accurate are movie portrayals of the military?
Not at all accurate. For one thing, movies like to focus on officers as the main characters. Which is like a movie about a company focusing on the COO, CFO, CEO, etc. and claiming that’s representative of company life.
Most of the military is made up of enlisted members, which are the actual “employees” who do the hands-on work. Officers are like upper management. There’s not as many of them and they’re all in higher leadership positions, sending down orders to the enlisted.
Also, I was in the US Air Force as an enlisted guy, so my experiences may be very different from people who served in the Army, Marines, Navy, or the new Space Force.
Do higher officers yell at you all the time?
Nope. At least, not in the Air Force. We’re considered the “corporate branch,” because we tend to be much more relaxed than the other branches. It’s almost like working for a 9-to-5 business most of the time. I was an IT guy, fixing computers. So I had a desk job.
That said, the military training environment generally has a lot of yelling. Basic Training, which is the first program you go through, is intentionally meant to stress you out. Because if you can’t do your job with people yelling at you constantly, then you’re not a fit for military life.
In war, when shit hits the fan and people are dying, you need to keep your wits about you, or the mission will fail and everyone could die. So Basic Training only graduates people who can hold it together despite the stress and frustration. After that, the operational military life is pretty chill.
Do fellow soldiers harass you?
Asking this is like asking if people are harassed in a corporate environment. The answer is, it depends on where you work and who you work with. Most people are pretty cool, but there are bullies in every job and sometimes you end up being their target.
I personally experienced harassment in my service, in several different jobs. It was not a constant during my service, but it happens. As long as you know your job and follow regulations, usually it’s not that big of a deal. If it does become a problem, then you can go talk to your First Sergeant (the military’s version of HR) and your commander and come up with a solution.
Like I said, the Air Force was pretty chill, and the Navy is a pretty sweet gig too. The Army still abuses their members a lot, treating them like government resources instead of human beings. And it’s stuck in an infinite loop, where young guys are mistreated by the higher ranking folks, so when they go up in rank, they feel it’s their turn to abuse the next generation. And the abuse cycle keeps going.
The Marines are the worst, though. They’re brainwashed into loving the abuse. They’re taught to believe that if they’re not suffering, they’re not living up to their full potential, so they invite harsh conditions and celebrate rough experiences. Lots of mentally (and some physically) abusive conditions with those guys. I did not enjoy working with them. They were always trying to one-up each other over who survived the worst conditions in the field.
Personally, me as an Asian American, I’m terrified of the military, especially the discrimination aspects
During my service, I didn’t really notice much discrimination. We had annual training programs concerning racial discrimination, sexual harassment, religious tolerance, suicide awareness, etc., so it was beat into us to respect our fellow service members regardless of their background. I’m a white male though, so I understand that my privilege may have blinded me to some discrimination going on around me. But I served with a whole melting pot of cultures, genders, and religions, and it never appeared to be a problem.
I did have one Airman who grew up a poor black kid in the ghetto, and he admitted to hating anyone in a position of authority over him, as his local white cops regularly discriminated against black people in his neighborhood. He told me this right after I was appointed his boss. So I quickly learned to adjust my leadership style to accommodate him. He was one of those people who was highly productive until I spoke to him about anything, then he’d just shut down and be a problem for the rest of the day. So I learned to give him a task or two at the beginning of the day, then step back and let him do his thing and he would be my best performer in the office.
Shortly before I retired, I knew a black Technical Sergeant (rank E-6) who was about to retire. I thought it was cool that he qualified for retirement and I was excited for him to move on to the next big thing in his life. But he seemed kind of bummed about it.
I found out later that he had been a Master Sergeant (E-7), with an approved promotion to Senior Master Sergeant (E-8). But amongst his black friends, he told a black joke, and some white Navy guy overheard it and took offense. He was reported to his commander for racism (?!), who removed his promotion and then demoted him to Technical Sergeant. He didn’t have enough time left in service to promote again, so he was basically forced to retire as the lower rank.
Our current commander fought with his previous commander, trying to get him to reverse the demotion because it was destroying his career over a joke he made about his own race. But the former commander wouldn’t budge. Claimed he had a “zero-tolerance policy about racism.” Sounds to me like justification for his own racially-charged discrimination.
So because he told a joke about his own culture, amongst his own cultural peers, he lost two ranks, a bright future in the Air Force, and was forced to retire early. That’s probably the worst discrimination I’ve experienced during my service.
Did you ever get PTSD from it? Ever actually been in combat, or was it just during peacetime?
My entire service period was during wartime, and I did deploy to several combat zones. Suffice to say, I do have some PTSD from it. As a computer guy, and as an Air Force guy, I was never placed on the front lines of battle. But I was close enough to witness people dying, and even had a few close calls myself.
I signed up for the Air Force in my senior year of high school, in August 2001. Literally a month later… 9/11 happened. I was terrified I just signed up to go die in some foreign war and I seriously considered dropping my contract. But in the end, the benefits outweighed the negatives, and I knew the Air Force was a relatively safe branch to be in. We mostly just fly overhead and drop bombs; we don’t really go in boots-on-ground and fight. So I graduated high school in June 2002 and left for Basic Training 2 weeks later. I’ve never regretted the choice.
President Bush Jr. officially declared the “War on Terror,” designating 9/11 as the start of the war. That war ran until the year before I retired, when President Biden officially ended it. So my entire 20-yr service was literally one whole conflict.
Also, we throw around the term “war” a lot, but it’s only officially war if Congress declares it, and they haven’t declared a war since WWII. So officially, on government records, they’re known as military campaigns, not wars. For instance, I served in Iraq and was awarded an Iraq Campaign Medal. I never made it to Afghanistan, but people who served there got the Afghanistan Campaign Medal.
Outside of all this, my career was actually really great. I spent almost half of my career stationed overseas. I lived in Japan for 3 years, South Korea for 2 years, Germany for 2 years, several deployments to Hawaii, Africa, and Iraq, plus a few stateside assignments. And I always made an effort to travel and explore no matter where I was assigned. I saw most of Europe and parts of Asia and Africa. My wife and I took a Mediterranean cruise line for our honeymoon and visited a ton of countries bordering those seas. I got a chance to go to Australia to be the best man at a friend’s wedding, but I turned it down because I was a broke Airman at the time and couldn’t afford the plane tickets. It’s my one biggest regret in my career.
I retired at 38 years old and am now 41. I’m a bit beat up, both physically and mentally, and have a 100% disability rating from the VA, which gives me free medical and dental for life, plus a sizeable monthly pay that’s twice as much as my pension. My wife didn’t retire from the military, but she also got the 100% disability rating, so she gets the same pay and benefits as me. We’re both enjoying the quiet life in the countryside now. If I had the chance, I’d definitely do it all over again.
I will say, I’m thankful I retired when I did. I served under Trump the first time he was president and it was a nightmare for us. He pulled a lot of fascist shit, but was blocked left and right by the Democrat-majority government. This time, though, he has a Republican-majority government and immediately replaced everyone he could with unqualified loyalists, so our military is kind of a shitshow now.
I have a buddy whom I mentored shortly before I retired and he’s been messaging me, repeating a lot of lies about “Antifa is overthrowing state governments and the military needs to swoop in and take back our states!” He’s stationed overseas right now, but is terrified he’s going to be attacked by “liberal extremists” if he comes back to the US. I had to inform him that none of that is actually happening here in the US and he’s in more danger from ICE than any left-leaning civilians (he’s not white).
Menopause.
If I knew “why”, I wouldn’t have this issue. Well. Probably.
What do I do? Same stuff I do during the “day” which is mostly draw. I’m “lucky” enough to be on disability, among other things because I don’t sleep.
That’s pretty good you get disability for sleep dosorder. Not good that you can’t sleep of course, it’s good that your problem is getting a recognition.
I did put it in quotation marks because I’d prefer being able to support myself but in all seriousness, I am indeed lucky to live somewhere that is willing to not let me and my useless brain starve, yes.
I’m “lucky” enough to be on disability
Where? How serious is your condition and what sort of proof do you need? (You don’t have to answer I’m just curious)
Germany. I’ve been getting medical treatment for several years for ADHD and various other psychiatric co-morbidities as well as some physical issues and my doctors’ statements are the proof I need to receive “Erwerbsunfähigkeitsrente” (which I’d approximate in English as “pension due to inability to work for a living”). I’ll probably, sometime in the near future, be required by the authority in charge to be examined by one of their doctors before they further approve my Rente.
I just lie there and wait until I eventually do fall asleep … (or until I have to get up again).
How do you deal with the boredom? Usually if I can’t sleep, I have the urge to do something, which usually means internet time. (Sorry I’m an internet addict lol)
Find a podcast that’s just on the edge of interest and boredom. When I can’t sleep, I listen to newsmedia criticism podcast, and more often than not I don’t make it through one episode before I fall asleep.
Basically just “daydreaming” or watching mental cinema.
The goal is to fall asleep, so doing anything would be counter productive.
I find history documentaries on YouTube, slow the play speed down a bit. it works better than anything else I’ve tried
I was born at 5pm, so I like to think this is why I’m more active at night and lethargic during the day. I never have a problem staying up unless I do a lot of physical activity. I also occasionally take naps in the middle of the day, feeling like I didn’t get enough sleep at night and I’m trying to top myself off.
Besides, it’s so nice and peaceful at night. Kids are asleep, no outside noise, I can hear my tinnitus clear as the Byzantine bells. I can focus on my work without distraction. Hello darkness, my old friend.
Not sure there’s any scientific basis behind the time of day a person is born and their preferred wakefulness hours in later life, but hey maybe it’s the case in some circumstances.
Not so in mine. I was a morning birth, but my preferred rising time for as long as I’ve had a choice has always been closer to noon. 10am is my 6am, you might say.
I would not be surprised if there’s a genetic link. One of my parents is also a late riser (at least, preferentially), and I’ve inherited that.
There is a genetic link…some of us carry Neanderthal genes that predispose us to certain patterns.
I’m on here, deleriously shitposting.
I am at a convention. It is 4am. I have been walking around all day struggling with anxiety from being around so many people that is only mildly mitigated by the fact they are my people. Wide. Fucking. Awake.
Sleep disorder, catch up on work, shitpost, read manga. I try to do productive stuff too like exercise, language study, making stuff, etc but I do have to be contentious of noise as I live with people. Some things are easier than others. Language study is nice because 5am est is 6pm the next day jst so my Japanese language exchange friends are just getting home from work when I’m getting to the end of the night
Thankfully I’ve gotten to the point in life where I can work like 11-7 or 12-8 fairly easily. Brutal for social interaction at my age is the trade off but can’t win them all I guess
I write and I read. I wake up at 4AM every day just to be able to write while our apartment, and the busy city around us, is quiet. In the summer, I will often work on our balcony so I can also listen to the few remaining birds still singing when they wake up… before the noise of engine starts submerging everything under its constant roaring.
Once I’ve been through the recommended deep breathing exercises, I lay still for as long as possible, and then, if I’ve not fallen asleep, I get up, turn on the computer and do something mindless in Minecraft until I’m tired. I might watch videos online. I have Redshift installed which reddens the screen at night, so I don’t get too much blue light.
It usually takes an hour or three and then I’m ready to try sleeping again.
Or at least, that was the case until I got on new medication which helps with falling and staying asleep. Now, if I do wake up with mind spinning, it’s usually three or four hours before I get up anyway, so I do all the above but don’t go back to bed at the end of it. I just have something for breakfast and then carry on a normal day.
I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I’ve felt the need for a depression nap since I’ve been on them. Doesn’t mean my depression is cured, but I’m almost never tired enough during the day to want to take one.
I go to the basement and work on jewellery
Im an anything bird - by that I mean that caffeine dictates my schedule.
If I work UK timezones, then my last coffee is at 3pm and I’m in bed by 11:59pm and up at 8ish.
If I work US timezones, then my last coffee is at 8pm and I’m in bed by 4am and up at 12:01pm