So I took a new job last month, mostly because I felt like I had stagnated in my previous role, both financially and growth-wise. My goal from the start was actually to get an offer letter and take it back to my employer to see if they would bump me up in pay to match it, or at least come close to it. I wasn’t unhappy at my job, I just wanted something more after almost 10 years of service with little to no career advancement and the cost of living increases that don’t even keep up with inflation.
Well, I did not have to search for long. I was headhunted for a role that is technically a promotion from my old job, and it came with a substantial salary increase. I took that offer back to my former employer and they offered me a very low raise as a counter. Not even coming close to the offer from the other place.
So I decided to take a chance on it and left for my current role. So far, I am not enjoying it. I anticipated that there would be some growing pains getting used to the new environment, new co-workers, new workflow and so on, but I’ve encountered a bunch of red flags within the first three weeks of working here and had I known about them I would have not accepted the position to begin with.
Mostly, I am just not feeling fulfilled here. I don’t have a clear understanding of what my job responsibilities are, and they stuff they are having me do are not things that I envisioned myself performing in this role. There is no clear onboarding procedure, and every one of my peers seems to be chronically overworked.
I think the thing that is stressing me out the most, however, is that my old manager (whom I am friends with outside of work) said that I could have my old job back, but that he couldn’t keep the seat warm for me forever. That window, as he told me last weekend when I spoke with him, is rapidly closing. If I wanted to go back, I would have to decide very soon. Part of me wants to tough it out for a while and see if the anxiety and apprehensiveness I’m feeling in the new job is just something that will pass in time, but another part of me wants to cut and run while I still have a chance to go back to some feeling of normalcy.
Does anybody have any advice? Is this normal? I did not feel this way when starting my last job, but I did have other short lived jobs where I felt almost exactly the same. Is it a matter of me not giving it enough time or should I listen to my instincts telling me something isn’t right?
edit: Thanks y’all. There’s some good wisdom out there. I appreciate everyone who took the time to write out a well thought out reply or shared their own experiences. I think for now I am going to tough it out, get the help of a therapist to work through some of my anxiety problems, and maybe in 6 months if things haven’t started improving, I will start searching for a new job at a different company, not my previous employer.
Never go back to an old job. It’s like breaking up with a girlfriend, there will always be a distrust associated with it. Give the new job a year and if it sucks, find a new one.
Just curious, do you mean specifically the job as in role, or do you think this about going back to a company as a whole?
I can name easily a dozen, maybe two dozen people at my company I personally know who left then came back, although generally to a different role. And I’ve seen most of them get promoted after coming back, even to high roles like Director or VP. I don’t know if that’s just because of a good company culture or if it’s because it’s a larger business (2-2.5k corporate employees).
I shy away from large corporate roles, so the rule may be different there.
I was firmly against them but an opportunity showed itself early in my career and figured I could stick it out for 2 years to get a big name on my resume… and somehow it’s been ten years now. But it’s a company with a genuinely good culture and my career has grown constantly over those 10 years, so I’ve been happy. TBF, my employer before this was extremely toxic so in comparison it’s been amazing.
The big corps I’ve been at have always been toxic. Part of that was an inability to get anything done due to the stifling bureaucracy. I wish I had gotten lucky at a big place, but oh well.
I was about to answer something about “never” being a bit too absolute for my taste and try to give a nuanced perspective about it being OK to get back to an old job if you feel it’s better for you.
Then I realised I am just 100% projecting and creating excuses for myself, which whether I am right or wrong is a really bad basis for giving out advice.
I am leaving my current job in 3 weeks to go freelance, and I am definitely anxious about it. Somewhere in the back of my head I was keeping a door open to allow myself to go back in case it does not work out. Fact is, I know why I quit and it would indeed be a terrible idea to go back to the same company. So, thanks for helping me sort this out!
I think it’s normal.
I made a similar move a few years ago, from 10+ years at the old job. There were red flags that came up a couple months in, but I decided to stick it out.
It took me over a year to really feel like it was the right decision. But the red flags faded as it turned out there were just some growing pains going on. Leadership managed to resolve the major issues and I’ve turned out to be pretty happy in the new position.
I’m not saying the same will be true for you… Some red flags signal issues that are correctable, but others signal toxicity or other things that are unlikely to be fixed.
But IMHO, 3 weeks seems like a short time unless the issues are really egregious.
Also consider that if you go back to your old job, your old boss may treat you worse than previously.
If you don’t like the new job and don’t want to give it more time, consider starting to look for something new immediately (you were headhunted, so your skills are obviously desirable) and continuing to move forward rather than going back.
My 2c.
Move forward, not backward. Not sure about the red flags, but could be you were just comfortable in the old job, and the new one is stretching your comfort zone.
If you want to go back to the old company, grow and apply later in a new role, from a position of strength. If you go back now you’re negotiating from a position of weakness and admitting you will accept less.
You don’t have to stay at that job but I wouldn’t go back to the old one.
I wouldn’t go back. You’ve been there for too long already. Nothing says you need to stick with the new place either. I would be looking for another job if possible, you have a solid decade of holding your previous job if you feel queasy about having a <1yr position in your resume. It’s understandable to not like a new position/company change, your previous role gives testament to your potential as a long term employee.
I had a lot of fear and apprehension when I switched roles, but I’ve settled in at my current job and I have no regrets about leaving despite loving the people I worked with at my old job. I’d say it took 6-9 months before I really felt like I knew what I was doing in my new role. Old job was seriously underpaying me, so it’s nice to earn what I’m worth now, and I keep in touch with my old coworkers.
Without knowing what the red flags are I have a hard time saying if it’d be worth going back, though.
This may or may not be the right role for you but should it not be that does not mean going back to your old job is the right way out. You got this role quickly on searching - it sounds like you do not know your own value and worth?
You wanted growth and change, but that is always anxiety inducing and will make you question your choice and decision. You will learn how your new role works and you will develop new skills to make it work. I’d stick it through for a good period and see how you feel.
But if it ends up being thay you really don’t like this job, it doesn’t then mean going back is or was the right decision. Nothing from your old job will be fixed or improved and you will feel the same again in a year. It feels like the safe option because it is familiar but rhwy didn’t value you enough to give you a salary your deserve. Your old manager obviously values you enough to want you back but mot enough to tell you that for your career to progress you do need to move forward.
You should look to move forward - if this new job isn’t a good fit in 6 months, work out what you really do want and look again. Don’t run back to familiar - you left for a reason but just becuase you haven’t found what you wanted yet downs mean give up.
I’ve job hopped a medium amount. It’s extremely common. The red flags you’re seeing are most likely indicators of serious problems, and you should trust your intuitions about them. Especially the thing about everyone being overworked jumps out at me. That kind of problem is systemic, and unless the new company leaders are honest about it being a problem and are taking steps to fix it (for example, hiring more people) you won’t be able to fix it as a low level employee and it can burn you out if you try. On the other hand, one month is not a lot of time to get familiar with a new workplace and understand the dynamics. Are there upsides that counterbalance the downsides? Can you find ways to mitigate or improve the situation at your new job? How much power do you feel like you have with your team to change the problems you see, and is this job worth the effort that that will take? Since you’re on a short clock, you won’t be able to get all the information you need to make an informed decision, so this is partly going to come down to your gut, which is scary. And no one on the internet is going to be able to make the decision better than you, for better or for worse.
Something else to consider: counteroffers are sometimes a trap. If your employer knows you are actively looking to leave, they will often begin preparing to replace you on their own, before you can make a move. Deciding whether this is a realistic possibility comes down to how much you trust your manager friend, how much you trust the other powers that be at your old company, and whether or not your old company can resolve the issues that led you to leave in the first place. Because if you go back to your old job and it’s the same old job, you will probably still want to leave at some point, and now your manager knows it.
Good luck. that’s a tight spot, and I hope you navigate it and land somewhere you feel comfortable ❤️
Don’t - they know know you will leave and so won’t want to give you promotions. You can overcome this in time - but only if you get it.
loyality is mostly ficton but there is just enough truth to work more against you than others.
find a new job if you must. Don’t go back. At least not for ten years.
I’m in a similar boat myself but week 2 into a new role. I’m planning to stick it out and see as although induction was non-existant and I still don’t know what they actually want me to do, I have scope to make the role my own over time. I’ve also burned my bridges in my last place by forming an informal union so sticking with it, is the only option. But for you I think stick it out and if it’s not working after 6 months apply somewhere new, you’ve been headhunted already and loyalty to companies doesn’t pay. Also if you are still friends with your manager, eventually something will come up even if the window closes for now. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do
