If the iGPU is getting the job done, I would leave that alone. You could add a GPU and pass it through to a gaming VM. But that is an entirely different project.

Proxmox is basically a VM management software that runs in a Debian install. You may be able to add it to your current install, but I am not certain about that.

First based on everything I have ever heard, don’t host your own email server. If you want to learn it that’s fine, but don’t do it for something you actually rely on. My understanding it’s a constant miserable slog to keep it functioning.

Second for getting started, get a cheap used computer and install Linux on it. Also be prepared to wipe it and install something different. Docker may be a good place to go next. You can find lots of guides online, there are tones of apps setup to run with docker you can test out. You could also explore virtual machines. Both have the advantage of making it easier to experiment with different things.

Let’s say that yes, you pointed them to “networking”. The issue is that they have a specific problem and you are pointing to a topic so broad and deep with no specific direction. But you also say “it’s basic”. Well if it truly is basic and they still don’t get it, this would be a clear indication that they need some level of hand holding. Last if your feeling “that is a lot of work, I don’t want to do that” no problem you don’t have to. But in that that situation I would suggest reviewing before commenting: is it going to get the person closer to a solution? Is encouraging to the person? Am I indicating I also have this problem indicating someone else could step in and help multiple people at once? Is it funny? If it’s no on all those, maybe don’t comment.

I think the important factor is that you have contributed nothing of value to help this person learn. You could have linked to a useful resources, you have suggested Google searches to point in the correct direction. But you basically said “This is easy, RTFM”. Next time at least send them the manual they should read.

What my setup will soon be for hardware: Gen 2 AMD epic 16 core CPU, Supermicro motherboard with lots of pcie slots, 128g ram, Intel arc a40 GPU, HBA card attached to a super micro disk shelf

Software: Proxmox for host is, Truenas Scale (just NAS) in VM with HBA card passed into VM, Plex in VM with Intel GPU passed in, 3 VMs for docker swarm (headless Debian)

Other thoughts: Cloud flare will only be helpful for things you want exposed to the internet. If you do that make sure you have a reverse proxy. This is how I expose services for non-tech family.

VPN will be more secure, but can also be more of a pain. I generally only do that for things only I need or only techy savvy people will use.

https://github.com/containrrr/watchtower

Your biggest potential bottle neck is if your NAS and App server only have a single 1g network port. This may not be a problem depending on your usage, but it is a important consideration to keep in mind.

You don’t want hardware raid. Some options you can research:

• Mdadm - Linux software raid
• ZFS - Combo raid and filesystem
• Btrfs - A filesystem that can also do raid things

Some OS options to consider:

• Debian - good if you want to learn to do everything yourself
• Truenas Scale - Comercial NAS OS. I bit of work to get started, but very stable once going.
• Unraid - Enthusiast focused NAS OS. Not as stable as Truenas, but easier to get started and a lot of community support.

There are probably other software/OS’s to consider, but those are the ones I have any experience with. I personally use ZFS on Truenas with a lot of help from this YouTube channel. https://youtube.com/@lawrencesystems?si=O1Z4BuEjogjdsslF