Thank you for sharing. Does that change at all if we are not currently at a workplace as in a company, but it is still a professional career-oriented program? I’m really not sure where else I am supposed to find a partner if not at a place where everyone is around the same age and well-rounded, especially when there’s this time constraint. Dating is difficult!
Any advice or suggestions on how to handle this situation? It is getting increasingly weirder and I want to do what I can to salvage it or at least not be distracted by all this.
There are two girls. One is the mystery girl he said he thinks he likes. She’s not as important in this context. Ann, the girl I was closer to in the beginning, is the one that I have an issue with now. She got too comfortable and started spewing negativity in the group text we share with this other female friend of ours (not mentioned in post). She complained a lot so I responded less and less. She always tried to get our mutual friend to listen to her and actively went against my suggestions because she herself is so insecure. She said hi from behind me but I didn’t see who she was with (it was Bob/Ed and she didn’t bother to even clue me in, knowing I would’ve wanted to say hi). She never sits with the guys when I initiate it, but always likes to sit with them when she herself brings them together. After I created this chat, which by the way was so spontaneous and based on the guys I was sitting with (which I thought she was going to join us too), she then lied about sitting with our mutual friend in a class whereas that did not happen. So I think that’s enough strikes and it doesn’t mean crap if we happened to spend a bit of time before even officially starting the program.
I know it’s confusing but I feel the need to clarify after reading your comment. Thank you for sharing first of all. It was not that I wanted to exclude her due to competition over him. In fact, I asked him enthusiastically wanting to know who he liked at that time, and therefore who he was considering bringing in. We were basically bros at that point and I hadn’t thought of him that way at all. He didn’t want to speak too soon and said he’ll see how things unfold. I actually figured it out later on, when she was flirting with one of the guys from our group, and vice versa. He saw all of this and looked pretty bummed. So I would be a hypocrite if I expected drama free space with the bros yet actively instigated drama, which I do not believe I am? Just trying to understand, based on the definition of hypocrisy.
So, should I tell them the truth? Or at least the one I like? I did mention that I spent more time with them in the past before I had a chance to branch out more and meet new people which is what I always like to do.
Thank you so much! I’m afraid the updates might change your take? It’s a personal group text with all of them, and it’s getting weird. I don’t know how to salvage this. I want to be friends and stay professional overall, while tapping into potential with the guy I like, but then again I don’t know if it’s time for me to just distance myself from the group. He also doesn’t really text me individually and hasn’t asked me to spend time one on one, so I fear the group text prevents this.
I would certainly say so. I’ve added more context above and my head gets jumbled when I meet with the guys. I do feel this awkwardness stemming from how the group text started, and pressure to add a girl, and that we’re all just trying to make it work. But I’m not sure if it’s just me reading too much into it or my romantic feelings getting in the way? What should I do, and should I explain the behind the scenes context or will that make things worse?
Please see updates in the post. I would really appreciate your advice here!
Thank you so much. I agree and it’s just that we have to be on good terms with one another in this program and be nice on the surface even if maybe we don’t like certain people. Question now is what should I, and we collectively as a group, do? If you can share insight on my questions in the post specifically regarding next steps, it will be so helpful.