A lot of people kiss their pets or non-human animals in general. I find that very weird. I understand that it is a sign of affection but it seems so off. One reason is that I doubt whether animals really understand this. Also it seems to be on a level of intimacy to me that I find weird sharing with a pet. Not necessarily romantically or sexually (that would be even more weird and wrong and probably illegal). But it is still “more”. I am not sure whether I can really explain why exactly I find that weird.
Anyway, what is something that is weird to you but not to most other people?
This. Why the fuck are you (random stranger in line/mall/gas pump/whatever) making small talk with me? What do you want? Oh I get it you’re one of those people for whom constant meaningless chatter is soothing. It turns your brain off.
It is the opposite to me. Please. Shut up.
Making a small talk is the only thing that changes someone from a complete stranger to a someone you know. Then they can tbecome a friend or even a best friend.
Most of us got our friends mostly at random. In middle school it was the one guy who randomly sit with me, same in college.
I think we are fine with total strangers becomming our friends, because most of the people are kind of really cool.
Don’t want new friends.
Especially not randos.
All your current friends were once randos. And were you specifically looking for new friends when you got your current friends? Or were those some time ago some randos that said hi?
I understand that is not relaxing for you, but maybe to you understand a bit better: this kind of micro relationship is the basis for establishing the empathy needed for helping strangers in need.
Maybe no one needs anything anymore, but rewind to a less reliable world, and after a friendly chat on the road, then you see their wagon broken down on the road, you’re more likely to take a risk to help them out — you’ve established a base line of communication and empathy.
I don’t think they find it soothing, i think they’ve practiced it enough is not taxing, and they’re just keeping alive an old habit — even if true they’re not fully aware why.
By practice I got to the point small talk with strangers does not feel strange. And by doing this I noticed that I help strangers way more often.
Last time I noticed a man carrying his heavy kiting equipment. He was really struggling. I had some time so I helped hin carrying to the other end of the city.
Old me would never do that. I noticed I am also way better wigh kids. They like me and I am the best uncle.
Originally my personality is being a introverted geek whose enegry is drained by the people. But I wanted to change that. It worked wonderfully. It shows how much in a control of your life you can be.
I’m guilty of dreading small talk myself, but no, this isn’t the case. Damn near everyone would be better off with more micro-relationships, more empathy, and more community support these days.
Problem is you never know if you’re going to have a nice chat about the weather, or get to listen to gramp’s reinterpretation of a talk radio political screed aimed at yourself or someone you love. And since so many things try to divert a large fraction of our attention to rage baiting political blurbs with no actual content, celebrity gossip, and outright propaganda, it’s not unreasonable to be wary of the possibility of getting more of the same from a source you can’t easily filter, turn off, or click away from.
People, especially those who are more introverted, seem exhausted by it all even while still responding to it. The psychological hooks are set pretty deep.
I’m enough of a conspiratorial thinker to believe this is by design. An attempt to move us away from empathy and community and teach us to rely on corporations and products for the kind of support you’re describing. Don’t wait for a kind stranger to help you change that wagon wheel, get a trail-side assistance package at the trading post before you set out…
You’re right. Someone’s benefiting from pissing in the common well. And it’s easier to put the piss in than take it out.
I’m just explaining the origins of this behavior — and why it might be worth it — even in the age of outrage.
I think we’d all benefit from the practice needed to make it easy to say “i appreciate your point of view, but i don’t talk politics with strangers. Hope you have a great day.”
Exactly, and i didn’t mean to hijack your comment. It’s just that it’s something that bugs the hell out of me, but that I completely understand at the same time.
I’ve started heading it off with stuff like, “I don’t watch the news, that’s how they send out the subliminal messages.” You have to be careful with those though, you could start a micro-relationship that goes on far longer than you want it to.