I saw my doctor recently and while talking about what a lazy fat-ass I am, he mentioned something about replacing the crap I usually snack on with healthier snacks like seasoned air-fried cauliflower or something like that. So what are your favorite healthy-ish snacks that can be made relatively quickly when I feel like shoving food in my face for no reason other than boredom and force of habit?


OP is asking about snacks. Eating a banana or pear or whatever as a snack will not cause the issues you warn against. Fruit is filling and contains moisture in addition to fiber. Should a person eat nothing but fruit? No. But for snacking? Hell yes.
My point is that it’s absolutely possible to get fat from fruit, in contrast to the comment I replied to. If you pig out on calorie-dense fruit like bananas or cherries every day, you will absolutely get fat. So, OP should be mindful about which fruit he chooses for his snacks and control his portions.
Cherries? I had no idea.