Edit: ‘Chase’ in this phrase is not meant to be taken literally.
For some extra information on the quote: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassionate-feminism/202504/the-psychology-of-dont-chase-attract
Edit: ‘Chase’ in this phrase is not meant to be taken literally.
For some extra information on the quote: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassionate-feminism/202504/the-psychology-of-dont-chase-attract
You need to attract by being a well rounded person that does not neeeed someone, but you also need to make it obvious to your crush that you are interested.
Spending too much time acting cool and hoping that they will fall for you will fail when the next person is just honest about their feelings with the crush.
How will her knowing I like her make her feel differently?? That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m still me, I am not doing anything differently, I am still as “attractive” as I was before telling her. So I don’t see how it matters.
Edit: Granted, eventually I’ll have to tell her but that’s after hanging out a couple of times and she’s shown signs of liking me back
People like to be liked.
Telling someone I liked them was being vulnerable, and vulnerability demonstrates strength, which is attractive.
The question that has worked best for me:
Usually this pushes me to take risks: often it means being honest about how esteem them while giving them plenty of space.
I have felt the best when I had a not-so-secret admirer who was willing to spend time with me without demanding a commitment too early. So I try to give that same experience to the people I care the most about.
Showing her you’re interested isn’t about making you more attractive to her. It’s more about signalling that you’re receptive if she’s also attracted to you.
If she’s attracted and knows you’re attracted, the relationship can proceed.
If she’s attracted and doesn’t know you’re attracted, she’ll either be in the same position you’re in now, conclude that you only want to be friends, or move on to someone who’s attracted to her.
If she’s unattracted and knows you’re attracted, everyone can get in front of their feelings before you feel like you’re wasting your time or she feels like she’d be losing a friendship by not being romantically interested in you. The longer you withhold your feelings from her, the more difficult you can be making things for both of you.
All that said, I think it’s totally reasonable to hang out with her a few times to see if you like hanging out with each other first.