Absolutely devastated. I’m sorry your mom got angry with you when you asked her. I don’t know her, so I don’t say this to try and excuse her behavior, but a lot of times people react in defensive and inappropriate ways when they hear something that’s truly scary and they don’t want to allow themselves to even think about it. Or it could be she worries about how it reflects on her.
I had a similar relationship with my mom when I was younger, and when I told her stuff like that, she usually also got mad at me and didn’t believe me/thought I was being dramatic. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was a big part of why I ever felt that way to begin with.
I hope you can remember your own value isn’t implicitly tied to her (or anyone’s) opinion of you, and that your feelings are always valid. Sometimes it can be hard to really sort through and process your feelings and emotions, especially when the person that’s supposed to teach you how to do that, isn’t really setting the best example.
I find it helpful to just take some time (maybe 10 mins) every day or a few times a week, and just write in a notepad all your feelings. Just let them come forward without censoring yourself or worrying about how it sounds. You don’t have to go back and read it, and it doesn’t have to make sense. You can delete it as soon as you’re done and it’s just a way to let it out and label your emotions when you can’t verbally express how you feel.
If you find yourself activated or really upset after writing (or anytime) and you’re willing to give it a try, there are a lot of somatic breathing and stretching videos that can help calm your nervous system down when you’re in an activated state.
It can feel kinda silly and woo woo at first, but it can be pretty surprisingly helpful.
Edit: Adding another video that’s easier just to quick try it out while you’re sitting in a chair if you don’t want to get too into it at first like the one above. Basically this is just using your fingers to massage your occipital bone, but the goal is to really focus on what you’re doing and the sensations your feeling. I’ve found these kind of grounding exercises (where it’s focused your own internal sensations) work much better for me than the typical name 5 things you can touch/see/whatever:
https://youtube.com/shorts/xMa23cFykQM
There’s a ton of stuff out there, and it may take some time to find one that’s right for you, but it can be a really quick and easy way to alleviate overwhelming stress.
Absolutely devastated. I’m sorry your mom got angry with you when you asked her. I don’t know her, so I don’t say this to try and excuse her behavior, but a lot of times people react in defensive and inappropriate ways when they hear something that’s truly scary and they don’t want to allow themselves to even think about it. Or it could be she worries about how it reflects on her.
I had a similar relationship with my mom when I was younger, and when I told her stuff like that, she usually also got mad at me and didn’t believe me/thought I was being dramatic. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was a big part of why I ever felt that way to begin with.
I hope you can remember your own value isn’t implicitly tied to her (or anyone’s) opinion of you, and that your feelings are always valid. Sometimes it can be hard to really sort through and process your feelings and emotions, especially when the person that’s supposed to teach you how to do that, isn’t really setting the best example.
I find it helpful to just take some time (maybe 10 mins) every day or a few times a week, and just write in a notepad all your feelings. Just let them come forward without censoring yourself or worrying about how it sounds. You don’t have to go back and read it, and it doesn’t have to make sense. You can delete it as soon as you’re done and it’s just a way to let it out and label your emotions when you can’t verbally express how you feel.
If you find yourself activated or really upset after writing (or anytime) and you’re willing to give it a try, there are a lot of somatic breathing and stretching videos that can help calm your nervous system down when you’re in an activated state.
https://youtu.be/5XntUJOVZfc
It can feel kinda silly and woo woo at first, but it can be pretty surprisingly helpful.
Edit: Adding another video that’s easier just to quick try it out while you’re sitting in a chair if you don’t want to get too into it at first like the one above. Basically this is just using your fingers to massage your occipital bone, but the goal is to really focus on what you’re doing and the sensations your feeling. I’ve found these kind of grounding exercises (where it’s focused your own internal sensations) work much better for me than the typical name 5 things you can touch/see/whatever: https://youtube.com/shorts/xMa23cFykQM
There’s a ton of stuff out there, and it may take some time to find one that’s right for you, but it can be a really quick and easy way to alleviate overwhelming stress.