I made a similar post a couple of years ago, but I think it’s time again after seeing a few nice-guy/incel posts here. So, guys who have made it to the other side, what would you say to your previous self? I’ll leave my own personal answer in a comment below.

        • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.techOPEnglish
          1·
          3 hours ago

          Are you, are you really? Are you really that good of a person? If Good is your thing, that’s your personality and that is what you are and do then absolutely. Volunteering a soup kitchens, working with the poor, donating your time to various charities, being excited about it, talking to others about it? That’s a personality and something that bolsters confidence and is something you can converse with people about. However, if being good is small favors or performative acts then you’re going to need more than that to build a personality. Holding doors open for someone is not a personality. Again, nice is not a personality. Good is not a personality. Look inward. Discover who you are first. Seriously we’re rooting for you, but you aren’t going to be able to just say “I’m too nice” or “I’m too good” here. Here on Lemmy we’re not going to give you the bland Reddit answers. Life is hard. You’re going to have to dig deeper and look at yourself.

          Look at all the comments here, look at what they’re all saying. I’ve read them all - seriously every comment here. The vast majority all include that bit right there, we were all the same, with the same feelings - and then we realized we needed to look inward.