• Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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    5 hours ago

    I got into the Battletech universe from the Mechwarrior PC games. Which…long story short, MW2: 31st Century Combat and MW4: Vengeance were really bad at indicating there was a whole franchise behind them. I learned it was a whole big thing from guys I met on MW4’s online multiplayer. Who here remembers MSN Gaming Zone?

    I tried to pick up the BATTLETECH game on Steam not too long ago, on the understanding that it’s a computerized version of the tabletop game’s rules…and bounced right off it. First of all, it has like, a Campaign mode and a Career mode? How are those different? Then both launching the game and starting a career play an intro cinematic longer than the Lord of the Rings franchise. I mean fuck, Tex of the Black Pants Legion doesn’t talk this much about mechs. The story is, to me, the least interesting thing Battletech can do: You’re some nothing fuck mercenary working for some nothing fuck duchess on some nothing fuck periphery planet.

    Three and a half months after the Steam return window passes, I finally get into the game to play the tutorial mission. It’s popping up text on the screen to teach how to control the game, meanwhile there’s a voiceover saying different things trying to tell the story of the Nothing Fuck Roughriders and their quest to avenge Lady Nothing Fuck of Nothing Fuckersville. It hit me with both simultaneously.

    Software I hate does not stay installed on my computer.