I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters, I mean it’s probably a testament to the writers but I overthink… a lot.

This question was bright on as I’ve been catching up on The Blacklist and at lunch today watching Season 8 Episode name “Anne “ and it wrecked me.

Tap for spoiler

Basically the main character Red has to live a guarded life and for once he let it form and got close to Anne and you could tell shit was going to go downhill and it destroyed me when you think about it from his or her perspective.

For reference I’m 41 year old dude, not that it matters.

Edit: Bedtime for me but back tomorrow to reply to all.

Edit 2: I’ve got 41 comments to respond to. Currently working but I’ll be back y’all.

  • Juvyn00b@lemmy.world
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    1 hour ago

    The older I get, the more I don’t give a fuck and just let go. Interstellar - when Cooper is watching messages from his son… Gets me every damn time.

  • gamer@lemm.ee
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    40 minutes ago

    The only movie that legit made me cry was Seven Pounds with Will Smith. I only saw it once, and I tried real goddamn hard to suppress the tears, but a few leaked out. Luckily, none of the people I watched it with noticed, so my masculinity remained in-tact.

    I’m asking as I’m trying to understand empathy and whether it’s normal to get so invested in fake characters,

    Fuck yeah it is. It’s a beautiful thing to be so moved by something that it brings you to tears (especially art). It’s what makes us human: we’re not just mindless beasts trying to eat and fuck, we’re experiencing life to its fullest.

  • LikeTearsInTheRain@lemmynsfw.com
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    2 hours ago

    Growing up, I’d occasionally tear up over a sad movie.

    Now that I’m older, I seek out movies that tend to be depressing and tragic. Watching them alone let’s me express a level of empathy or grief that is almost therapeutic. Most mainstream movies that are deemed sad may still only get me to slightly tear up like the past. But I’ve encountered enough indy or slightly lesser know films that fly under the radar and they make me ugly cry.

    Being in a vulnerable mindset kind of helps because there are moments where I could probably fight it mentally and hold back my reaction. But if I allow myself to let go, then it’s full on sobbing.

    Recent movies that had that effect on me are Drawing Closer, and How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies.

    It’s not always empathy, somethings its a personal element where I relate to someone on screen and I use them as a conduit to express the emotions I might normally suppress or stoicly ignore.

  • vanta rainbow black@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 hours ago

    works of fiction never made me cry in my previous gender, but ever since i started estrogen it’s been neat going back and rewatching my faves and seeing how much harder they hit emotionally now

  • Toes♀@ani.social
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    4 hours ago

    Yeah.

    Occasionally I’ll come across scenes in an anime that are so out of place but hurt.

  • Binturong@lemmy.ca
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    4 hours ago

    Hey fellow 41 year old dude, I also cry at this stuff. It seems especially pronounced when rewatching nostalgic productions with well written characters and conflict (I will not apologize for crying all the time during Avatar the last Airbender, as an adult man). No, I do not know what this means in regard to healthy emotional processing, it just is what it is. Mind you I also get unjustifiably angry or emotional in other contexts when I feel connected to the fate of a character and they experience injustice. So this might be a general marker for some level of empathy or maybe just emotional mimicry. Thanks for posting, I think this is something people should be okay talking about more.

    Edit: I wanted to add this also occurs in other mediums, like video games. Cyberpunk 2077 was like a revolution in awareness for me, but largely because I experience DID to a degree in my life, and it really flipped the table of my understanding of myself seeing what I experience through the eyes of others.

  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    And books.

    If the story and characters are well written and/or acted well enough to pull you in to the story you can certainly feel empathy and other feelings vicariously.

    There is plenty of entertainment that does not pull the viewer/reader in, and you don’t particularly get “involved” with them.

    I’d be curious what the line is for most people, what draws them in to a story emotionally to make that investment in a fictional character.

  • throwawayacc0430@sh.itjust.works
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    9 hours ago

    My memory sucks so can’t remember much, but:

    The Hunger Games (1) when

    Major Spoilers btw

    Rue died and Katniss was honoring her, and did the District 12 salute and the scene cuts to District 11 start doing it, then the whole riot scene and it just reminds me of so much of the injustice and tyranny of the world… I just can’t stop crying. I wished we have some of the District 12 - District 11 Solidarity IRL.

    I actually remember when, as a kid, I rarely cried about fictional stories, or something even bad events IRL.

    But once I go through the existential crisis at 18, I started to actually feel stories, like actually feeling it. I ser deaths, injustice, and tyranny. The “veil of innocence”, as I call it, completely shattered. The world isn’t beautiful, its hell, its horror.

    Its actually when you get older, you understand the stories being told.

    • 5too@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      I feel like there’s a term for it, but I can’t recall it now - it seems like after you have kids, emotional impacts in media can also start to hit a lot harder. I’m not sure if there’s some empathetic response that tends to get strengthened or what, but my wife and I both have things we either can’t watch anymore or don’t process the same way. Like, I decided to start rewatching Star Trek: DS9 a few years ago (a year or two into fatherhood) and got wrecked by the scenes in the first episode where the captain relives losing his wife.

  • Donebrach@lemmy.world
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    10 hours ago

    Me, and yes it’s normal to have an emotional reaction to media. You want a good cry? Watch Violet Evergarden. That shit’ll wreck you.

  • AdmiralRob@lemmy.zip
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    9 hours ago

    The film Click always makes me cry. You know, the comedy where Adam Sandler has a magic tv remote? I’m not gonna go into too much detail on which scene; spoiler tags don’t seem to work on my Lemmy reader, so I won’t know if I’m doing it right. I’m just going to say it’s the scene where he has an important message to deliver to his son. Gets me every time.

  • Kissaki@feddit.org
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    10 hours ago

    I do. Not very often, but not super rare either.

    It can help when I’m miserable, as a form of emotional release.

    Mainly on anime for me, I guess, largely because that’s what I watch most. I don’t think I’ve felt that emotional on other film media.

    The most recent anime that touched me was Ave Mujica: The Die Is Cast.

  • tiredofsametab@fedia.io
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    19 hours ago

    I’m a dude in his 40s. If anything, I’ve gotten more empathetic and easily moved over the years. I have cried at movies and over books.

    • Ænima@lemm.ee
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      7 hours ago

      Same. For the longest time I was made to believe that crying in front of people was weak. Especially, when those tears came from entertainment. Then I watched Schindler’s List and bawled like a fucking baby at the end when…

      Tap for spoiler

      Schindler starts pointing out all the possessions he still had, which he could have bartered to save more Jews and the overwhelming support from the ones he did save comforting him.

      It fundamentally changed who I was and what I was willing to show emotion for, especially empathy. I found that any movie based on actual events, that ended tragically, would illicit a similar response.

      It was only after years of therapy and the support of wonderful people in my life that I learned to feel that deeply for any media with resonating characters. Elon said empathy is a human weakness, but he’s never been so wrong. It’s the only thing that binds us together.